Homeland
Big Man in Tehran

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 176 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
George Washington's Axe
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

PREVIOUSLY

It was so great when, after weeks and weeks of abuse and insanity and pregnancy tests, Carrie got to look Majid Javadi in the eye and say Nasser Hejazi, the dead soccer player he is a little bit gay about. That was so great. Less great was when Saul put his wife's boyfriend in a quote "dark fucking hole" for being Mossad, but mostly for being his wife's boyfriend. This is not great, because they were on a break. If you want your wife to act like a wife, act like a husband and not a raccoon.

Anyway, Brody's in Tehran and there are no dwarves left to save him and no extraction plan when it's over and no chance of this working out okay, but the play is still in play.

THE BRIG

Saul: "I still don't like you very much. Because you bugged my house, but mostly because Mira used you to make a point. A point she had verbally explained to me dozens of times. So now that you are a real person, I feel foolish and also like making you feel bad."
Alain: "I'm Israeli. I don't feel bad, I feel mean. And I feel also like I fucked your wife."
Saul: "See, that's the kind of shit I am talking about."

Saul tells him to get Mossad to supply two agents in Tehran to be the new dwarves, but really they will end up being the new Max and Virgil, who aren't dwarves at all. (One is a gorgeous fashion model elf of the woods who is kind of dumb, and the other one is a tinker goblin with one Dobby finger stuck permanently in his ear.) Alain says, "No I can't!" and Saul says "Then get ready to enjoy the rest of your life here at the Fairfax County Dark Fucking Hole Extended-Stay Suites." Then Alain says "Okay maybe I can!"

DAY 3

Brody has been saying his cover story -- which is pretty much his real story -- over and over for three days. There is a man who looks like Bluto doing this part, and there are cameras and lights, and Brody looks like one hundred percent of a mess.

Bluto: "But before you got to the Tower of David and met that strange monster-doctor-villain-angel, who was it that shot you in your abdomen?"
Brody: "I don't know, jerks?"
Bluto: "Are you full of AIDS?"
Brody: "I do not have HIV, which is the virus that causes AIDS."
Bluto: "How do you know that? You have been inside containers and towers and jeeps this whole time. When did you administrate this test?"

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Homeland

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