SCARY WAREHOUSE

Nick: "I'm guessing you haven't tossed me into this scary warehouse as a birthday treat..."
Abu Nazir: "Hey, Nicholas."
Nick: "Oh my God, it kind of is like a birthday treat. I have missed you so fucking much!"
Abu Nazir: "I know, me too."
(They be all in love for a second. No homo. Well, kind of homo, but not really. There may be a million words for 'snow' but we don't have nearly enough different words for ways for guys to be about other guys. Leads to 90% of the world's bullshit, to be honest. Just that lack of a useful vocabulary.)
Nick: "Wait, but you're going to torture me now, huh? That's a mixed bag."
Abu Nazir: "Let's focus on how nice it is to see each other, broheim."

NEXT WEEK

Birthday spankings and waterboardings. Jessica continues to be awesome, or goes back to being an asshole. People continue to bitch about Dana no matter how rad she is. Carrie gets just as jealous about her boyfriend's boyfriend as she does about her boyfriend's wife, but it is for patriotism. Quinn and Mike Faber find new ways to be great. Nick Brody is everybody's bitch, forever, eternally.

JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps Gossip Girl, The Good Wife and Homeland for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, on Twitter, and on Facebook. IRL work appears in BenBella's SmartPop series of anthologies, his novel The Urges, and a novelette, "The Commonplace Book," appeared this month on Tor.com.