Jessica: "If you marry Finn Walden, I will be the winner."
Dana: "First of all it's just a date, and also we should wrap this scene up pretty soon. Nobody cares."
Brody: "Jessica. I am calling to say hello and how are you."
Jessica: "I was so worried after you did exactly what I told you to do that I will immediately start bitching at you."
Brody: "Our marriage is doing a-okay."
Jessica: "Children! Your father is coming home!"
Dana: "Uh, I'm so sure. Also, I can't believe that you are totally omitting the part where you were the one who kicked him out in the first place. That is just so Jessica Brody."
Jessica: "I won't be happy until I take all of you bitches down with me. And start fucking Mike Faber again, also."
Stands up for about five seconds and then crashes to the floor, fetal and reborn. The best thing about rock bottom is finally having a place to stand. Another definition, perhaps.
Actually, Jessica and Dana have one of the best scenes of this all-time episode. Never lose faith. Mom's sitting on the porch when Dana comes out to wait for Finn to pick her up for their disaster date, and they treat each other like human beings for once.
Jessica: "Don't you look nice!"
Dana: "Heh, I combed my hair."
Jessica: "It's beautiful!"
Dana: "I'm going to sit next to you on this porch but I need you to remember the teenage daughter rules. No touching, no looking in the eye. Or the deal is off."
Jessica: "Got it. Did you break up with Xander before taking up with Finn? I kind of forgot to do that when your dad died and came back to life, and let me tell you darling it was a fucking hassle."
Dana: "Of course I did, I'm not a creep."
Jessica: "Very cool."
Dana: "Is it weird that I'm dating the boss's son?"
Jessica: "When you refer to your father's future POTUS that way, it makes me feel less powerful and magical and pretty. So let's refer to them as equals and colleagues, okay?"
Jessica, awesomely: "I'm sorry about all the confusion. I know your dad and I are supposed to be the grownups. It's..."
Dana: "Whatever, Dad changed over there. They did something to him."
Jessica: "Yeah. Sorry about that too."