SLOTUS: "Did you bring his speech, for the teleprompter guys?"
Jessica: "I didn't even think of that! I am such a goddamn rube!"
SLOTUS: "It's fine. Let's just send somebody over to get it at his office."
Jessica: "I just remembered how my husband is completely unreliable. Dang it, he's going to screw this up for me, isn't he?"
SLOTUS: "Jessica, stop being nervous. Your marriage is 'a great American story that's just beginning.' You're a beautiful woman, Nick is so charismatic..."
Jessica: "Here we go with the swinger come-on. I knew it was coming. What's your angle, lady? He likes to watch? I bet he likes to watch. Well, let me tell you that watching me have sex with my husband is the least titillating thing that has ever happened on Showtime."

BRODY

They try to change the tire, but there's no jack in the car, and there's a whole bit where Bassel picks up a giant rock to murder Nick with, and then Nick makes him sit behind the car so he can drive it forward onto an ingenious log that will act as a jack, and they don't really trust each other because guess what, terrorists are not great guys.

Jessica: "Brody! Where is your speech and what is your twenty?"
Brody: "I can't talk right now. For reasons."
Jessica: "How many? Are they lies?"
Brody: "Fifteen, and all of them are lies."
Jessica: "You gotta see these tablecloths!"
Brody: "I don't have time to talk about your stupid tablecloths or your social climbing bullshit right now because I got a terrorist guy with a rock over here. Please shut up."
Jessica: "I would estimate that the ballroom could contain 850-875 people at full capacity, but of course a lot of these veterans are disabled so the tables are a bit bigger than usual, a little taller. How big would you estimate a table would need to be to accommodate..."
Brody: "Shut up shut up shut up"
Jessica: "Listen, I was going to wear this red dress with a giant rosette on the left shoulder but you know, I really look good in pink so I was thinking about wearing pink, Brody do you remember that dress I bought I guess it would be about six months ago now that time that we took Dana to the mall for school shopping and there were those ski pants, remember, and so do you remember that dress because I was trying to describe it to somebody earlier and I'm not sure but would you call that, in your opinion, was the color of that dress more of a dusky rose, or like a..."
Brody: "Shut up shut up shut up I HAVE TO GO."