I don't know if you've noticed this, but sometimes this show can be a little intense.
On his way back to the US with that all-important video confession where Nick Brody explains he is a dang terrorist, Saul gets stopped and searched by Lebanese TSA agents are Hezbollah. They locate an SD card in his briefcase -- his cover is ambassadorial, so they shouldn't even have been in there -- and take it, but luckily it was a dummy. Of the many excellent fakeouts this week, that was the worst because it's like, "This show giveth and this show taketh away, and now only Saul knows that Carrie was right, which means now they will both look crazy." But no, it turns out okay.
We don't see him again until the end of the hour, which is really clever because it informs Carrie's arc in this episode: After being turned away from a debrief about her mission to see Fatima that ended up in two good kills and a near-miss on Abu Nazir, she also has to live through the humiliation of David Estes pointing out how clearly she's been entertaining the pathetic fantasy of being asked to rejoin the CIA, and clearly he needs to disabuse her of this notion in the kindest way that it's possible for a person carved out of solid oak to do.
Meanwhile, Sgt. Nick Brody's in his own kind of hell. Jessica finds the speech he intends to give at her war vet fundraiser thing, and is moved by its candor about how weird and yucky their relationship is. It's a bonding moment, which results in one of their typically weird sex encounters, which ends in embarrassment and sad boners woggling around after they're interrupted by Dana and her Xander Kid. A short call from Roya later, Nick's on the road to get the Tailor -- last seen putting Nick's suicide vest together for him -- to a safehouse in Pennsylvania and very little time to spare if he wants to get back in time. Spoiler, this is the opposite of what happens.
After about a million very tense hours of the Tailor thinking about how they should probably just kill each other and get it over with, things go all kinds of Chrissy Moltisanti on him, and he ends up having to field increasingly bitchy phone calls from his wife while capturing, accidentally injuring, and finally neck-snapping the poor old paranoid Tailor. As things get worse and worse -- like at one point they cut back to him and he's digging a grave using some garbage, and it's started raining and you're like, "Of course it's raining" -- they also get funnier and funnier, right up until you hear that neck snap. And then it's like, "Oh, Nick." Oh Nick, sorry being an Al-Qaeda terrorist is so hard for you. Sorry about all the inconvenience. Oh Nick, why won't your wife leave you alone to commit sedition and murder.
Over at the fundraiser, Jessica -- under the watchful eyes of a pissy VP, his endearing wife, and Nick's old platoon -- opens up about her own experience welcoming her husband home, which garners major applause and probably fame in weeks to come. Sitting outside the house in Mike's car, it's only after Jess reveals Nick's affair with Carrie that he realizes he might still have a shot at her. They don't make it as far as the front door before Nick runs up, soaking wet and sad about all kinds of things. She yells at him about secrets, he dead-eyed tells her he has none, and she threatens him with divorce. The routinely unimpressed Dana Brody is, of course, unimpressed with this performance.
But the misery, it is spread all around. Don't you worry about that. Chafing under Dad's too-insightful surveillance about her wired behavior, and riding that apocalyptic edge of Claire Danes's cry-voice that we know so well, Carrie goes back to the apartment where she first fell in love with the man she so unfairly accused of being the total terrorist that he is. Bored immediately, she's almost out the door for some good old-fashioned fake-wedding-ring troll sex when she finally realizes that she is a hot mess with a sad life, and commits some solid suicide.
We watch her die for a while before she gets her ass together and barfs, passing out in her sexy dress until somebody -- it's Saul, but easily could have been Nick, given how WTF this episode was -- arrives, straight from the airport, because he wanted her to be the first to see what she found. Having spent the whole episode sharing her agony, the catharsis of realizing she was right about absolutely everything this entire time is catching. Her grin is our shout, it's lovely. She was right! And she knows it! And the whole world makes sense again! Her married boyfriend that dumped her is an Al-Qaeda terrorist! Hurrah! What a nice day!
Next week: Saul shows David Estes the tape, which may be good enough to get Carrie back into her job considering all of her crazy behavior was centered around the fact that she was right about this one thing she was right about, but does not entirely counter the fact that she is crazy anyway. Roya makes some ridiculous demand of Nick, presumably, and Dana and Finn apparently discover more about each other. My theory? Finn is dead, and only Dana can see or talk to him, in his realm of ghosts. He just has that look somehow, you know?
Carrie's mission to Beirut came close to taking out Abu Nazir, but thanks to a warning from Nick Brody, our characters had to content themselves with just a little less murder than they were planning. At the last second, though, Saul found a hidden SD card containing Brody's suicide note, a long video where he explains what a total terrorist he is. You know, like exactly the kind of thing you really don't want to leave lying around.
Saul's on his way out of Beirut when some sketchy-looking (redundant!) TSA guys pull him aside and shove him in a tiny airless room so they can touch his body and his luggage inappropriately.
Saul: "That briefcase is clearly marked as a diplomatic bag! Do not open it."
Guys: "No, I think we're going to open it."
Saul: "Hey, don't be dicks."
Guys: "Saul Berenson. That's Jewish, huh?"
Saul: "...Oh boy."
Saul: "Due to YOLO and whatever, I'm going to air my theory that a regular Lebanese security official would know better than to screw around with diplomatic carry-ons and such, and therefore you jerks -- like all jerks lately -- are probably Hezbollah."
Guys: "We don't feel like chatting about it."
Saul: "Well, I just hope you don't cut open the false lining and take out an SD card you find there. I sure hope you don't do that."
Guys, doing that: "In your face, Saul Berenson!"
Which, wouldn't that be cheap if this were that kind of show, and they took away the suicide tape seconds after he found it -- in what was already a pretty contrived way, to be honest -- so then it would just be Saul and Carrie sitting around going, "Yep." Yep, last season was totally Carrie getting cocked up and screwed around. Yep, now we both look crazy. Yep, David Estes is kind of the Agamemnon here. And Carrie saying, "You know what we should do is, tell a bunch of people. But do it in a raving, hysterical manner. Like maybe break into some people's houses and become obsessed with them. Or just run around on their lawn."
But on the plane, guess what. That was a dummy SD card in the fake lining, and in fact the real SD card is in a fake compartment of the lock on the outside of the briefcase. So if you ever have to sneak terrorism evidence out of a country where you should not be, past the Hezbollah thugs running airport security, so that you can prove your most brilliant CIA person is not crazy, I suggest you invest in one of those. How handy.