Nick: "Do you believe me? Because that's all I care about right now."
Carrie: "The part of me that is a spy feels good about that. The part of me that is a very needy woman feels great about that. The part of me that is a human person who recognizes that you are a broken animal looking for approval and/or manipulating me and thus treating me like an idiot, though, those parts feel not so great."
(Saul and Quinn act like a Greek Chorus of how fucked up both of these people are. "Is she really going out with him?" etc.)
Brody: "Oh my God, I can tell just looking at your face that you sent Mike Faber to save my family."
Carrie: "Fucked up, huh?"
Brody: "Yeah, that's pretty fucked up. It's also hilarious, though."
Carrie: "Right? That's what I thought, too."

SAFEHOUSE

Kids: "So like is Dad in the CIA now? It's always something with that guy."

Mike: "Dana, for what it's worth I kind of hate your dad too. But also I love him."
Dana: "My life has not improved markedly since his return."
Jessica: "We all feel that way, honey, but part of being an emotionally repressed WASP is that we don't talk about it. Okay?"

BIG OFFICIAL YET INFORMAL MEETING THAT IS ALSO ADDITIONALLY A LIE

Walden: "Dave, Nick. I call you by your names like that because I am the VP. And a dick."
Estes: "I don't have time for all that, sir. I just wanted to tell you that Nazir's terrorist cell is going to attack the Special Ops thing tomorrow."
Walden: "I need to throw my weight around, like, immediately. I'm just going to start yelling and see what I come up with."
Estes: "...Actually sir, we think you can help us take out the whole cell. You'd basically be like the biggest hero of all time."
Walden: "I'm listening."
Estes: "Just let Roya Hammad be there. Oh, also she is a terrorist."
Walden: "But she's so pretty! Anyway, how do I help?"
Estes: "Oh, that was it. Just letting Roya come. The rest of it will all happen while you are eating breakfast and being horrible with your horrible family."
Walden: "That's disappointing."