Homeland
Uh… Oh… Ah…

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 87 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Famous In a Bad Way
Carrie: "OH MY GOD GET OUT!"
Quinn: "So I guess I'll leave out the part where I threatened to kill David Estes on your boyfriend's behalf, then. I guess that can wait. Quinn out."
Carrie: "Man, and it's after 11 so I can't even have one of my jazz freakouts."

DANA

As Jess goes running around the house screaming Dana's name and reminding us that the tall stranger in the house is named Chris and that he is her son and that nothing is ever going on with him, Dana meets Leo at the hospital and, after a muchness of obstructions and upside-down spider-kisses and kicking out of AC fans and whatnot, they get their fuck on. You'd figure mental hospital sex would have to be the saddest possible sex, but the desperate enjoyment they seem to find in it tells another story. Maybe they really are very much in love!

Or maybe one of them is Chris O'Donnell and the other one's Drew Barrymore and things are going to get Mad Love crazy/beautiful in a second. That would be so Dana if she ended up in that kind of situation. Even the hottest or tenderest (or bothest) mental hospital sex, you still know at least one thing about the person you're doing it with: They are in a mental hospital. They are receiving inpatient care. The key will be how Dana thinks about it. If she's like, "Yeah, here's his diagnosis and we remember to challenge each other but still respect boundaries," then we're good. (And they are lesbians, apparently.) But if Dana says there's nothing going on with Leo's mental health, brace for impact.

MATHISONS

Dad: "I found Carrie's paystubs, that prove she got reinstated and a raise after that time she got blown up and went super crazy. Remember that, with the markers and all that?"
Maggie: "I think you need to think about the fact that proving the CIA is a liar is the opposite of what this hearing is about. Because you know who's not going to be able to remember that? The lady we're talking about. She is going to go in there knowing that it's about proving she's not crazy, and then it's going to backflip on her so fast and she'll start thinking the CIA conspiracy stuff is her ticket out, which true or not is going to make her look crazy, but she won't care about that because she's right and being right is the only synonym she knows for happy, so she'll think she's looking un-crazy when she is, in fact, looking absolutely the most crazy. You know that's how this shit is going down."

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Homeland

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