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We'll Never Have Paris

Foreman exits the operating room to tell Stacy that the surgery went well, and that she can see Mark in the recovery room now. Stacy leaves to do that. Foreman tells House that the surgeon didn't find anything but a distended bladder, which I believe is what your mother always threatened would happen to you if you held it too often. It doesn't explain any of Mark's symptoms, leading Foreman to agree with Cameron that Mark is fine. House asks for a video of the surgery.

House spends his night eating pizza, drinking, and watching TV. It would be the perfect evening if the TV show wasn't a close-up of Mark's insides. House watches and paces around the office and twirls his cane and watches again. He decides that his TV screen isn't sharp enough to see the finer details, and steals the ob-gyn department's plasma screen in an awesome bit of continuity. The clearer screen shows him what he's looking for, and he calls "Dr. Mandingo" to the "plantation house." Oh, dear.

We cut to Foreman, looking so, so pissed off as he and the other Cottages, having been drug out of bed and into work, stare at the almost-empty bottle of "Gold Medal" fake brand liquor and say they don't see anything wrong on the video. House presses "play" on the computer, and we see Mark's abdominal muscles ripple. While this would normally be considered impressive and attractive if it happened to the muscles visible outside Mark's body, here on the inside, it's abdominal epilepsy, which indicates a big neurological problem. House calls it a "time bomb in [Mark's] brain." Then he makes fun of Cameron for thinking the guy was fine. Hee hee.

Foreman and House enter the meeting room as Foreman says that some scan or other revealed that Mark's axial nerves are dying, which explains the bladder problem. Something is killing his nerves, and when enough die, so does Mark. Foreman says that the two most likely candidates are encephalitis and Alzheimer's. "Early-onset Alzheimer's. The worst," Cameron says. Deciding between the "worst" case of Alzheimer's is kind of like deciding who is more racist between House and Stacy, isn't it? House asks if either of Mark's parents had it, and Cameron says that they both died in a car accident, just like almost all the other patient's parents or loved ones on this show. House orders the Cottages to test various bodily fluids for encephalitis and Alzheimer's, and to break into Stacy and Mark's house. Chase protests that it's two hours away, and Cameron says she thinks House is doing this to spy on Stacy, not to help Mark. House tells the guys to be sure to bring back Stacy's secret diary, and, if they have time, to check the medicine cabinet for toxins or heavy metals. That had better be a big medicine cabinet to fit all the members of Iron Maiden, although maybe not so much once Sharon Osbourne has gotten a hold of them and cut them all up to bits. That is a scary woman.

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