Hostages
Fight or Flight

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 17 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
The Physical Impossibility of Being 2 Legit

It's not that I don't care (well, I don't) but that this clearly just puts more pieces into place for the finale, and doesn't need to matter or make sense right now. Duncan Carlisle waxing on about how he was in jail for selling meth -- easily the silliest thing he could claim -- is almost enough for now. Chance Kelly is for sure enough for now.

Oh, and fucking Duncan Carlisle goes, "You callin' me a snitch?" which makes me want to fucking vomit just remembering that happened, and then the unwitting CI scum guy goes, "He's legit, man."

About Duncan Carlisle, the least legit person in the history of legitimacy. Fuck you he's "legit." Don't use words you don't understand.

So they question him about his legitimacy, and he is like, "I'm so legit you should just shoot me and I will bleed legit all over you and then I will die. And how sick is that." But they don't want him to have the satisfaction, so they join the Conspiracy just so he will stop being so smug and legit at them, like a horny gerbil with an Associate's Degree in Business or Accounting.

Hillbillies: "You are being 2 legit! You need 2 quit!"
Duncan Carlisle: "I simply cannot."

NINA

"Dear Duncan Carlisle. Enjoy your new wifeless life with your dumb new friends. I am taking your daughter also. So when you hear about a little girl whose mom died of cancer immediately after I leave you this voice mail, understand that I have no regrets. Leave her to the wolves, that she may become their mistress. I loved you my whole life, but this conspiracy nonsense is a deal breaker. It's hard to be sexually attracted to your husband when the magic beans bullshit starts. Please say hi to Dr. Ellen Sanders for me, and to go to hell. I'm sure you'll be very happy together because you're both so loose butt hole. Love, Your Former Wife Nina."

DUNCAN

The script this week has an annoying thing that always guts me, where they talk in fragments to approximate regular human speech, but the actors can't do anything with that so they just read the lines as written, and everybody ends up sounding psycho, like Rorschach from Watchmen. One of the writer teams on BSG always did this and it drove me up the wall.

Archer: "Went in to check on you."
Duncan: "Was close."

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Hostages

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