Fight or Flight

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 17 USERS: C-
The Physical Impossibility of Being 2 Legit
Nina: "What a horrible fucking thing to bring up. This show sucks."
Beardy: "Yeah, but my point is that you're dying of cancer, so you don't care if the President kills you before we kill him so you won't die of cancer. That part makes sense, in the stupid context of this show. We all know your mother doesn't give a shit if you live or die, she said that already. But what none of you assholes thought about was how Soy-Soy's existence is also an indictment of the President. You and your dumb mother may not care about your life, but everybody cares about Soy-Soy. For God knows what reason."

Which mollifies her to a certain extent, but only long enough for her to realize what Ellen figured out a month ago: which is that when your children are a burden that will get everybody killed, you can always just catch a bus to Montreal. So now she's just gotta break through Soy-Soy's impenetrable mental walls and convince her to do that. Yeah, you heard right: Nina's gotta take her daughter hostage.

There's always at least one show a season where at some point I just feel flames along the side of my face and I can't tell if I love something or I hate something so much it has gone through the hate and come out the other side as love -- like a purified and a very angry love. But I do know that when I grind my teeth and hear myself saying quietly aggressive things to the show like "Come at me, bitch" that we have made it to that point. That point when torturer and the tortured reach a common purpose, beyond all sense or reason: I dare you. If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

When hostage negotiator Duncan Carlisle took his wife hostage at the beginning of this episode of a show that is literally called Hostages, it finally happened. "Fucking bring it," I heard myself rumble through gritted teeth, no longer outraged but at a kind of delirious, horrible peace.

I gotta say, ever since then everything's been cake. It was, in fact, broughten.


Shubie Hartwell: "What are you guys looking under that car for? Still?"
Duncan: "Because we are getting blown up at some point, duh."

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