Invisible Leash

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 49 USERS: A-
This Wheel Shall Explode

Ellen: "Hey, Angela's voicemail, sorry I was late. Call me if you get this so I can indoctrinate you further."

Ellen: "I'm meeting a friend. She's a woman, dark hair, pretty, about 35..."
Random: "You can just say she's black. It's not weird."
Ellen: "No, that always feels weird. I mean, it's almost like you wanna whisper it? But that's like, actually racist. I just know if somebody was looking for me, they would not specify I was a white lady. Unless it was a black person doing it, because you'd otherwise assume their friend was black. But you would understand why they were doing it, they would know, and you would know, so it still wouldn't be weird..."
Random: "I'm just dicking with you. I know exactly who you're talking about. She left with her boyfriend like one minute ago."
Ellen: "Uh... huh. Wait, boyfriend? Fuck. What did he look like?"
Random: "Real tall, like six-four. Dark hair, good looking, probably 35..."
Ellen: "Oh my God was he black or what? Spit it out."


Ellen: "Angela, are you dead in there? Hellooo..."
Hoffman: "Dr. Sanders? Why are you lurking around this lady's house?"
Ellen: "I have no reason to think she's been abducted, if that's what you mean."
Hoffman: "So she's not home?"
Ellen: "No... Hey, why are you here?"
Hoffman: "Sketchy reasons Jacob still doesn't really get, or why everybody's acting so weird about it. Maybe this is seeds for when we find out that I'm actually in the conspiracy too. Maybe everybody is the conspiracy. Maybe the finale is, you finally go to kill the President, and you pull off his face, and under that is a gorilla mask, and under that is your own face, and then the Beatles play."


Ellen: "Where the fuck is the black one?"
Jake: "Mom, you can't just say, like..."
Kramer: "Yeah, that sounded really bad. I mean, I know we don't have names to you because we are terrorists, but still."

TV: "Angela is fully already dead. She committed suicide by jumping into the Chesapeake Bay. Also this is her Facebook status."

I am sorry that I almost killed (but didn't actually) the President, and that I let people take pictures of Kate Middleton's baby, and that I caused the government shutdown. Now I am dead. Farewell. And to Ellen Sanders, you are a shitty friend and that is why I am killing myself. No love, no X's, no O's. Just pain. Forever. You know what you did. -- Angela.

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