Off the Record

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 35 USERS: C
The 5 Stages of Ho


Duncan: "Beardy, can you hear me 'emanating' some facts to you right now? Snipers always work in pairs, a sniper and a spotter. The sniper's name in this case is Robert Harper. The spotter is hot and has no name. Statistically they will be between twenty and forty, white and male obviously, and wearing sunglasses."
Beardy: "Okay so I should kill anybody wearing sunglasses in New York City."
Duncan: "No. Just ones who are doing it because they need eyes for all that sniping."

On the elevator with them is a hot white male between twenty and forty years of age, who looks like he wears sunglasses and can shoot a man and not feel bad! It is the sniper or the spotter, depending on if his name is Robert Harper. After letting the elevator almost close but then not close so as to arouse less suspicion, Archer and Duncan chase him through the hotel to his room. Then they keep walking, because it's not time yet. Duncan Carlisle will snipe no sniper before his time. Only your riper snipers.


Gramps: "Okay, you stand right there in the kill zone while I get out my 'video camera' and screw the silencer onto it and point it at you through my laptop."
Whatever, The Mom Lady: "Tell me some dumb weird story about Nina while you do that."
Gramps: "Okay one time she got fucked up riding her sled standing up. She was asking for it, and it she got. We took her to the doctor and I realized that I didn't even want to punch her for being stupid. Only hug her, for being a little girl."
The Mom (Kim? Jerrica maybe?): "Is that when you decided you would kill anybody to save her? Even her own mother? Or maybe cancer if you could figure out how?"
Gramps: "Yeah that is when. I wish you cared about her as much as I did that day I didn't punch a little girl."
Jerrica: "You're right. I won't call the President a rapist on TV. This was a dumb plan."
Gramps: "But I'm glad we talked about it! And that I don't have to murder you."
Momica: "But you have to let me see her so I can at least ruin her life that's left."
Gramps: "We'll cross that bridge when we never, ever come to it."


Sharon Shorkin: "I did hacking on things, and he is definitely not a person."
Duncan: "Okay then the sunglasses were correct."

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