Off the Record

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 35 USERS: C
The 5 Stages of Ho

Is being very fucking Duncan Carlisle today. I can't even handle it. He's like Tom Cruise in a movie or real life, talking about "elevation" and "major thoroughfares" and all this dorky spy talk with a barely suppressed glee. I like to imagine that this is an acting/directorial choice, and that everyone involved in this production is fully aware of what a total fucking wiener Duncan Carlisle actually is.

"A sniper's only as good as his spotter, and a spotter is only as good as his vantage point. We don't have enough time to do an internal recon in three high-rise buildings. We need the blueprints for each building. With complete specifications." -- Duncan Carlisle, Total Fucking Wiener


Kate: "Turns out I still have some survivor rage going on. I told my husband everything."
Gramps: "Oh no, now I have to kill him too? God, that Ellen Sanders is a piece of work. Kate, do you not remember that we had to hide you and Nina even when the President wasn't yet the President but just a young rapist on the campaign trail? Now he is the President! That's more."
Kate: "I don't really care that the President is more than capable of killing all of us, including you and Soy-Soy, because I am dotty and have no sense of consequences. Also I got raped, which kind of puts me in the right no matter what happens in this conversation."
Gramps: "Even your daughter with the cancer?"
Kate: "Stage IV, bitch. Either leukemia kills my daughter, or I do. Either way she's dead meat."
Gramps: "I wish I could tell you about the magic beans, but instead I have to shoot you in the head. But first, let's look at some old scrapbooks of your daughter before she got cancer."


Duncan Carlisle: "Tate Donovan, I need a favor from you."
Tate: "No!"
Duncan Carlisle: "But you didn't even ask what it was, Tate Donovan. It is specs from the property clerk's database in NYC so I can learn about buildings."
Tate: "No! Because of ethics! America and buildings!"

Ellen gives Duncan Carlisle the subtlest little shake of the head, a conspiratorial and sexy head-shake that says, "My husband is being a whiny little bitch today. Do not engage."

Duncan Carlisle: "Fine. Ellen, come out here so we can have a secret meeting about what a dingus your husband is being."

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