Tate: "He'll do it, too. Mornin', folks. Lookin' good, Carlisle. Good and healthy."
Cop: "This guy died. He got clonked outside a house where things were going on."
Beardy: "You look like a stocky Tate Donovan, a little bit. I like your face."
Cop: "Let's talk about how you killed him, though. Because I think you killed him."
Grandpa: "...Beardy, let's go. Tell this charming cop goodbye."
Beardy: "If it's all the same to you, he's much more pleasant to talk to than Duncan Carlisle."
Cop: "Who even are you? What is this?"
Grandpa: "I am his lawyer and also his dad."
Beardy: "Oh my God -- this is so embarrassing."
Tate: "It has been twelve hours and I am still so upset about what happened!"
Ellen: "I told you, I refuse to explain anything about this."
Tate: "So Grandpa Lawyer -- your old serial-killing friend -- told you this? Uh, the first rule of Conspiracy Club is, you don't believe people in the Conspiracy. The second rule is, people who straight tell you they are in the Conspiracy are in the Conspiracy, so refer to rule one!"
Ellen: "I don't know what to tell ya, bub. I'm in the Conspiracy now. If you wanna die -- and it really seems like you do -- then go ahead, do whatever you feel like doing. But any needles you stick in him, any guns you shoot at him, any knives you slice him with, know that I will patch that shit right back up. Live together die alone, my friend."
Tate: "Quick, what is the fucking stupidest possible thing you could do today?"
Ellen: "You're right. I have to hold his dying wife hostage."
Tate: "That's a good one! He just ten minutes ago threatened you not to bother his family, so you should definitely bother his family today."
Ellen: "Listen, if he loves her half as much as he does that kid, he is liable to go full-on apeshit. It should be very dramatic."
Tate: "You know what would be awesome? If you made him punch you in the face."
Ellen: "Right? But he won't, because he's perfect every way. Including not hitting ladies."