Episode Report Card
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Future Shock

Nighttime at the Kent House. Clark is sitting in the kitchen drinking from a coffee mug and wearing a white shirt. White? It's the first time we've seen him wear something other than red or blue. MamaKent knows everything happening in town, of course. She exposits that Piano Man is in the hospital and the truck driver isn't all that curious about Clark's miraculous survival. Zoe isn't asking questions either, and the police don't seem to care. Most unobservant town ever. Cassandra comes up in the conversation, and Bo Duke asks whether she knows Clark's secret. Clark sheepishly admits that she does. Bo Duke says he doesn't think Clark should see the old woman anymore: "Your destiny may be to protect people, but ours is to protect you." Explain to me how his argument makes any sense whatsoever. Protect Clark from what? Getting into a Harold and Maude relationship?

Stately Luthor Manor. The well-lit showroom where Lex keeps his wrecked Porsche from the first episode. Clark asks Lex why he still has the car. Lex explains about a rich man who almost died in a hotel fire, then bought the hotel and stayed in that room because he didn't think fate would find him twice in the same place. Lex says that a team that examined the car couldn't account for the roof being ripped off. Clark, incidentally, is wearing a blue sweater with a big red stripe and a smaller white one cutting across his chest. Subtle and very nicely done. Lex asks Clark whether he remembers anything about the accident. Clark says that he only remembers pulling Lex out of the water. Lex looks at him doubtfully. There's not as much sexual tension in this scene as usual, and that is very sad. Lex says it's an unsolved mystery. Clark says that maybe fate has something else planned for him. Lex complains about Clark spending too much time with Cassandra. Aw, jealousy. Now there's my sexual tension. Clark says that Lex has to ask himself where he should go from here, after the accident. I have a suggestion: how about going to the Buffy musical episode?

Hospital. A cop tells a doctor that he's there to pick up the kid from "The Beanery assault," and that is the single funniest line in the entire episode. They walk into the room where Piano Man is supposed to be and it's...CRUSTY OLD MAN! All ragged and moaning in bed and handcuffed to it. "" he moans.

Clark and Lana are walking by the pond bridge where Lana first lost Crusty Old Man. They theorize about the sudden reappearance. Clark looks down and notices the glowy green rocks among the fish under the bridge. Chimey music plays as Clark starts to look nauseous. He excuses himself and goes back inside the old folks' home. Lana blinks a few times; it's her way of conveying befuddlement.

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