House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | 2 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Lisa Cuddy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
ing else you wanna know, bitch?" Gail says coldly. Cuddy looks like she's about to cry. I demand a spin-off series featuring the adventures of Gail and Valerie, the psychopath patient a few weeks ago.

Cuddy decides to take a break from the entire hospital, throwing her coat on and walking out on a call from the hospital board chairman. She tells Nurse Assistant to give him a message: "I quit." I guess this is why, despite all the bullshit, people work at PPTH: the drama! On a typical day of work you've got an evil pharmacist/meth lab supplier, a fistfight between surgeons, and then the Dean of Medicine publicly quits. And that's not even as awesome as the day when House announced to the lobby that he was sleeping with Cuddy or the time Cameron and her patient dove through a window. It's always nice to have something to talk to your significant other about when he or she asks how your day went when you get home from work.

Cuddy escapes to her car in the Fox Galaxy Lot parking garage. Her alone time soon comes to an end with the arrival of House, who taps on her car window with his cane. She lets him inside and they sit together for a minute before Cuddy informs House that he did, in fact, lose his bet with Lucas. House says he and Lucas will be even, then, because he's hoping to win his other bet with Lucas by prescribing that asshole Clinic patient some breast milk for his cancer. Cuddy sighs that she really thought GEHI Co. would agree to the 12% increase. House doesn't seem to have an answer for her with them, but he does think the hospital board won't follow through on its threat to fire Cuddy, nor will she follow through on quitting. She totally should though, because she can double her salary at GEHI Co.! And they'll be able to afford to pay it because they don't have that money-suck PPTH in their network anymore. Cuddy asks House what makes him so sure that she won't quit. "You're an idiot," House says; "this place needs you, and that matters to you." And how does that make Cuddy an idiot? I think it's because the reason why PPTH needs her is because she hired a bunch of incompetent morons who can't do anything without her. Except for Gail, who, while smart, is also evil. Speaking of Gail, Cuddy asks House about her. "She's a sociopath," he says without hesitation. He's known that for ages just based on how she opens her mail. Cuddy asks why he didn't give her a heads-up. "I figured it might come in handy one day," he says. Yes, because when you're a Vicodin addict, you definitely want a self-serving psychopath who has no problem ripping you apart to save herself in the pharmacy you count on to get your fix. And with that, Cuddy gets her very own epiphany face.

Cuddy meets with Gail for a third time. "I like you. I always have," she says, which shouldn't make any sense to Gail, seeing as how she called Cuddy a "bitch" during their last encounter. She says Gail must have done these awful things because she got "sucked up into a situation [she] couldn't control." And so, she's going to do Gail a solid and help her out with the DEA if she agrees to tell them the truth. Cuddy says Gail is a good person, deep down, which she knows after working with her for seven years. "You're an idiot. I started stealing from here six months after you hired me. You still don't even know the half of it and you never will," Gail says. Well, know that Cuddy knows there's more to uncover, I'm sure she'll look. Gail needs to stop being so proud of herself that she has to brag and start keeping her mouth shut. Gail says she knows that this job is too important to Cuddy to risk losing, so she won't report Gail to the DEA for fear that Gail's allegations about House and Cuddy will get her fired. Gail takes off, leaving Cuddy to stare at a giant orange flower on her desk and smile.

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House

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