House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | 2 USERS: A
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Lisa Cuddy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

She takes the flower to Nurse Assistant to give to the DEA agent who will be stopping by shortly. Yes, this is no ordinary flower -- it's a flower with a microphone and a recorder in it, courtesy of Cuddy's private detective boyfriend. Oops! Gail really should have done her research in regards to who Cuddy was really sleeping with before she opened her big mouth. Cuddy plays Gail's admission of guilt back for Nurse Assistant, who gives Cuddy a high-five. She's probably hoping that Gail's firing will free up some money in the budget for Cuddy to hire a real assistant. With that, Cuddy says she's going to the board of directors to quit.

Freaking FINALLY, Cuddy's nanny decides to call. Instead of firing her, Cuddy asks about her daughter. Rachel's fever is gone, as is the rash. Wow. Between surviving her premature birth, being left in an abandoned house in the middle of winter with just a coat to protect her from the elements, spending the first three weeks of her life with crackheads, and then getting over a fever and rash in a matter of hours, I'm starting to wonder if Rachel is actually a superhero. If that Gail/Valerie spin-off doesn't work out (because, you know, Gail is going to be in jail and stuff), they should totally do one about Rachel the Superbaby.

Anyway, because Cuddy sucks at life, she misses the elevator and has to call for the next one. Also, her employees have so little respect for her that they didn't bother to hold it for her. It all works out, though, since as Cuddy's waiting for the next car, someone calls to her with "you bitch!" That could be anyone, based on what we've seen in this episode, but this time it's Eli, who tells Cuddy that G(not so)EHI Co. will agree to the 12% increase after all. Quick, cue the Triumphant Working Mother Montage Music! But first, Cuddy lets out a very cheesy "YES!!! WHOOO!" as the camera rapidly zooms out to a wide shot of the entire lobby. If you look really close, you can see two extras by the admittance desk giving each other a high-five. Even at this distance and with my non-HD TV, you can tell that they're loving their moment of over-exaggerated acting. Meanwhile, in another hallway full of PPTH employees who are all causally leaning against the wall because no one there works, ever, Nurse Assistant smiles and walks away. Her work here is done.

Cuddy tells the board that they got their deal with GEHI Co. They give her a round of applause. Lather, rinse, and repeat for the PPTH employees. Even House, who is too cool to clap, looks slightly pleased. Cuddy leaves her office for the day, only to find that someone snuck into her unlocked office yet again -- this time to drop off a check from Martin for $850.00. Just in case you didn't know what that was all about, he helpfully (and neatly!) wrote "thumb surgery 1st installment" in the memo box. I would have gone with the slightly more clever "two thumbs up!" Cuddy obviously agrees with me, as she rips up his check. Or maybe she knows that PPTH is swimming in money now that GEHI Co. agreed to their exorbitant increase demands. New Porsche for Cuddy!

At 9 pm, Cuddy lies in bed with Rachel, who sleeps while her mother strokes her back. Just don't startle her awake, Cuddy, or she'll accidentally kill you with her super strength! Lucas decides to do some stroking too, but of Cuddy's ass. Cuddy removes his hand, then reconsiders and puts it back. And then her Blackberry goes off with an emergency page, no doubt from House. "You gonna get that?" Lucas asks. Cuddy just looks at us.

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