House decides to check on his Clinic patients, which he hasn't done in like two seasons. Understandably, his first patient, who's all bandaged and casted up after a recent run-in with something decidedly bigger and heavier than he is, is a little annoyed at the amount of time he's had to wait for his doctor and whips out a knife as soon as House enters the room. "Whoa," House says, because, really, what else can you say? The patient isn't going for him, however, but for the electrical outlet. He jams the knife in it and electrocutes himself while House watches, his face a mixture of "Am I really seeing what I think I'm seeing right now?" and "Sweet, I didn't get stabbed."
13 gives the POTW a lecture about fainting, then says she thinks he picked up a threadworm when he was in Thailand. She gives him two pills and promises he'll be all better. Except we're only ten minutes in, so he won't. While 13 gets the patient a glass of water, Kumar and some other Number we don't need to care about stroll in and start treating the POTW. 13 says they could at least wait for her to finish, but they'd rather fight it out in front of their patient, which I'm sure is doing wonders for his morale. 13 puts a cup of water on the patient's table next to the pills and leaves as Kumar tries to wheedle information out of him about what the women's team is testing him for. But POTW is wise to their machinations as House already told him that he's got two teams of doctors competing over his diagnosis. POTW is all for this, figuring with ten doctors treating him, he should be getting ten cures. It's not about the quantity of the cures, POTW. It's about quality. Kumar tells POTW he needs to collect a stool sample from him and is annoyed when POTW responds that'll be tough since he's immobile and hasn't been shitting recently. Kumar looks extremely put out that he has to help POTW to the bathroom. Yeah, people with disabilities are such a pain in the ass, aren't they? Meanwhile, the other doctor does all the heavy lifting while Kumar gives POTW some head support only after he's asked.
House walks into Cuddy's office and takes a seat. She's waiting for him to open with his usual barrage of insults, followed by a request to do a medical test on his patient that is absolutely insane and very dangerous, but just might work. Instead, he just sits and sighs, then finally says that with his office occupied by his teams, Cuddy will have to yell at him in her office this week. Then he comments on her cleavage-displaying office attire. Ah, he's back to normal. I was afraid the suicide attempt he witnessed might have thrown him off his game. Cuddy picks up on the plural teams House mentioned and accuses him of making a game out of patient care, a phrase I'm sure she stole from Cameron when Cameron came into her office to tattle on House. Cuddy assumes that House already knows what's wrong with the POTW and is withholding treatment from him while he's subjected to unnecessary tests and drugs from the Numbers. Well, Cuddy, when you put it that way, it sounds cruel. House changes the subject to what's really on his mind: why someone would voluntarily stick a piece of metal into an electrical socket? Cuddy mutters that she's starting to understand how the guy felt.