House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C | 1631 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Everybody Dies

While the men's team waits for the time penalty to end, 39 finally breaks the silence and asks who there isn't a real doctor. The guy who isn't a real doctor quickly says he's sure House was lying about that to jerk them around. 24 wants to talk about the case, even though House said they couldn't. Just to prove that he is so a real doctor, Weird Beard guesses a growth in POTW's neck that's giving him trouble swallowing and restricting blood flow to his brain, causing him to faint. Basically, if POTW has cancer, they win. If he doesn't, they're fired. They're all rooting for the cancer. They just need to do a CT scan to prove it, but they can't leave the room until the penalty is over. And Kumar's noticed that House's computer has a little camera on it and it's pointed at them, so if they leave to do the scan, House will know. 24 solves this problem by slipping under House's desk, out of the camera's sight, and crawling outside while all the men look at her ass. She surfaces in Wilson's office, interrupting his latest chat with one of his patients. 24 is so much like House that I don't think she stands a chance of getting hired, so let's enjoy her while she lasts.

So far, so good over in the women's tilt-test room. POTW's blood pressure is remaining stable and he's having a grand old time on the ride. Until, that is, 24 comes barging in and demands the patient so she can run her own team's tests. Very House-like, she grabs the joystick (any medical test with a joystick would make me suspicious) and says they need to stress their patient more to really test him. But even that doesn't seem to affect POTW, who says this is the most movement he's had in the last forty years. Forty? I thought he was in his twenties. I guess the upside of SMA is that your skin keeps its youthful appearance.

13 walks alongside House to report that the tilt-table test showed that the patient is recovering now. The threadworm pills must be taking effect, and House can go fire the men now. House would rather know what 13's backstory is, but she says that anything he needs to know, he can find in her file. House says she's hiding something, which intrigues him. If it's a dead husband, I will wash my hands of this show. Also, I find people with mysterious backstories more annoying than intriguing. 13 just wants to report on the patient, but House tells her to wait another hour.

House

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