Episode Report Card
Sara M: C- | 1 USERS: B+
Everybody Dies

And then we go to New York, where Foreman is heading up his own diagnostic team. So I guess he really was in New York all this time like Wilson said? Meaning that House didn't really see Foreman at PPTH? Either House is having hallucinations or he really does think all black people look alike. Anyway, Foreman's team (the Foreboys) do some differential diagnosing until Foreman figures out that their patient's recent disinterest in her crossword-puzzle habit is because of blurry vision, and one of his Foreboys comes up with a diagnosis of an aspergillus fungal infection. Foreman sends them out to cure their patient with a smile and a "great job." He's so not like House he can't even believe it.

House studies his suicidal Clinic patient's knife (looking a little burnt around the edges) while asking Wilson why someone would kill himself in such a strange manner. Wilson would rather ask House why he's dividing his Numbers into teams and compromising patient care. When House doesn't bite, Wilson leaves, all jealous that House loves the suicidal patient more than he loves Wilson today.

24 tries to get back on the men's team, which is currently struggling to get a stool sample from Patient O'Constipation, by promising them a way to get their parasite test results directly from one of House's former Cottages. Kumar says they already have their diagnosis, but 18 immediately says Kumar is lying in order to make 24 go away. 18 must really suck at parties. I'm getting sick of his straight-arrow ways already. 24 says that the real reason why she wants on their team is that with her on it, they'll win, knocking the much better team of women out of the competition and leaving her with a bunch of idiots to compete against for the job. That's great news for the patients who will suffer from the mistakes the two idiots who get the job with 24 are sure to make that the more qualified women's team members would not have. There are times when being cutthroat hurts more than it helps, 24. In the end, that explanation wins her the men's approval and a place on their team.

It turns out that Cameron's advice to 24 was to get a jar of bugs and make them bite the POTW, then test the bug's stool for parasites. This is even better than testing the patient's non-existent stool, since the parasite will be more concentrated in the smaller bug poop. Unless the bugs have parasites of their own. Meanwhile, I had no idea that bugs pooped. I mean, I guess they'd have to, but I never thought about it until now. And now that I have, that's so gross. 24 starts the bugs a-biting, but POTW immediately starts coughing and going into respiratory arrest. 39 tells 24 to get the bugs off of him, but she refuses, since she's not done with her test yet. Her test won't matter at all if the patient is dead before the bugs can crap out some parasites. Even POTW's dog is annoyed and barks at her. Finally, 39 physically pushes 24 off the patient and attends to his choking problem.

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