House

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Sara M: C- | 1 USERS: B+
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Everybody Dies

But it's all worth it, because after the break, POTW is getting a nice back massage. House has called everyone back into the classroom for this new symptom where the patient's throat thinks his lungs are his stomach. That's what he said, people. I don't get it any more than you do. House asks the room for suggestions, but no one wants to give away any answers to the other team, because the job is more important than a patient's life. So House has to actually call on people, and starts with the Number we know isn't going to make it, so whatever, who says POTW's symptoms are "exotic" and therefore must be connected to his trip to Thailand. It turns out that the Number, whom House nicknames "Grumpy," was with Doctors Without Borders for eight years. House asks him why he wants a job that will keep him stranded in New Jersey now. It turns out that Grumpy is recently engaged and trying to settle down.

13 tires of all this personal crap and pipes up that the POTW's choking could be related to his SMA and therefore discounted as a symptom. She still thinks the POTW is suffering from a threadworm, but since he's taken the pills she gave him and hasn't gotten better yet, that's out as well. Not for 13, though, as she points out that he hasn't gotten worse, either. One of the twins suggests putting POTW on one of those tilt tables to stress his system. If he stays conscious, the girls win. House sends them off to do that, then asks the men's team which one of them wants to join the women to even up the teams. All the men raise their hands. Then House changes his mind, figuring that since one of the men on the team isn't a real doctor, the teams are still fair. Of course, he doesn't say who is the fake doctor, leaving them all to wonder. Instead, he lectures the men that instead of choosing a diagnosis and acting on it, they did a bunch of blind tests and hoped they'd get some clues from the results. That wasted the patient's time, so House is assigning them to a penalty box.

Back in New York, where the hospitals don't have walls made of glass, Foreman's POTW's gums are turning yellow. Her liver is shot. They were wrong about the aspergillus. I guess she stopped doing crossword puzzles because she discovered Sudoku. Foreman says they'll just have to keep trying until they get it right. "Or she dies," one of the Foreboys helpfully supplies. Foreman snaps at him that he doesn't need a team to tell him that humans are mortal, then realizes he's turning into House and quickly apologizes. It would be kind of funny if his patient died while Foreman was wasting time apologizing to everyone.

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House

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