House

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Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Sail Away

Ultimately, Taub doesn't have to tap all of Julie's joints as he spots a big smallpox-looking rash on her knee. Too bad for Julie that he didn't spot that before he tapped all her other joints. Also too bad for Julie that she has smallpox. While the Cottages wait for the CDC to arrive and take over, they put on their spacesuits and examine Julie's body for more pox. Julie whines that she's going to die. House tells her to not to be so hasty -- smallpox is only 30% fatal. Unless they find evidence of hemorrhagic smallpox, in which case Julie's pretty much dead. Martha finds another rash in Julie's armpit that House describes as a "regular rash," which somehow means it's not smallpox after all.

Sam meets Wilson for a romantic lunch date in the PPTH cafeteria. They discuss House and Cuddy's latest relationship woes, and Wilson is shocked when Sam takes House's side. Sam says Cuddy can't use her relationship with House to make her work life easier, which is totally true. Wilson ignores that and applies it only to himself, asking Sam if this means she's okay with lying in general and lying to Wilson. Sam says they have a much different relationship, so no. I think Sam needs to dump the chump and hook up with House. Wilson gets a page and has to go look after that cancer kid since the nurse they assigned to babysit her was called away to do her actual job. Before he can go, though, an announcement comes over the PA system saying that PPTH is now on lockdown (again) and no one may go in or out, as commanded by the all-powerful CDC. Sam says she is apparently sticking around a while longer. I wonder if everyone in PPTH right now all knows that this lockdown is somehow House's fault. Like, there have to be janitors in the PPTH sub-basement talking right now about how that reckless asshole House just got them all trapped at work again and they'd better get some serious overtime pay for this. I wish they'd show that instead of some girl with cancer.

The CDC arrive and their spacesuits are much cooler than PPTH's. They're red. General CDC (a.k.a. Dr. Broda, head of infection control) orders House and the Cottages to leave the room with their "inadequate" protective suits. House informs him that's not a problem anymore since he found a rash that proves Julie doesn't have smallpox. "False alarm. Sorry!" House says. Wow, he'll apologize to the CDC before Cuddy? Unlike Cuddy, though, the CDC will not let House steamroll over them. Broda says that rash could be unrelated to Julie's condition and therefore is not proof that she doesn't have smallpox. He insists on taking a bunch of samples from Julie and sending them to CDC headquarters in Atlanta for DNA testing to conclusively prove whether or not she has smallpox. That will take 18 hours, which I'm sure is too much time for House and the Cottages to be barred from seeing or touching their patient.

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House

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