House

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Sail Away

After the break, House pronounces the latest development to be "cool." Chase says it isn't that cool for the stepdad, since his symptoms are consistent with smallpox. But House refuses to believe that the stepdad had a headache, even though he said "ow," collapsed holding his head, and then said he had a headache. House says "head pain" is different than a "headache." If it's "head pain," for instance, it could be the result of bleeding in the brain, which actually somehow confirms their TB diagnosis. Foreman says they'll have to do a CT scan to know for sure, which will be difficult with the CDC not letting them go anywhere near their patients. House mulls this over, then asks Chase to go out into the hallway with him so he can talk about lying to people without Martha finding out. House proposes that Chase suggest running some kind of horrible test from like the '40s on the stepdad that actually killed patients but can be done in the isolation room and in the hopes Broda will "compromise" and let them take the stepdad out for a much safer CT scan. Chase scoffs that Broda will not be as easily fooled as Cuddy. Also not easily fooled is Martha, who finally figured out why House keeps calling people out into the hallway away from her. "You don't trust me!" she says. Well, yeah, Martha. That's kinda what happens when you tell on your boss. She hilariously suggests that they be "honest and reasonable" with Broda and just tell him the truth. House sends her off to do that, then tells Chase to be ready to pull the bait-and-switch on Broda after Martha is inevitable denied.

So the cancer kid's mother is stuck outside the hospital and not allowed in during the quarantine, which means the girl has to go through chemotherapy with no Lamby and no mother. Also, there's some random blonde woman hanging out in the doorway who is not an employee of PPTH and is probably breaking all kinds of confidentiality rules just by being there. But, whatever. Wilson offers to take Lamby's place and hold her hand while she's getting her chemo, but the kid says that won't work. Sam gives it a try and says sometimes you have to do things you don't want to that are for your own good, like go to school, eat your vegetables, and take your medicine. I guess that argument would work better if the kid wasn't currently too sick to go to school and probably to eat anything, let alone vegetables. Wilson pulls Sam aside and suggests that she go find Lamby's "cousin" in the hospital gift shop. Aren't PPTH's gift shop stuffed animals ridden with baby-killing diseases? This seems like a bad idea.

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House

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