Worse yet, Cameron's the one doing the exam. She carefully checks everything out in a montage and then puts on the rubber gloves. They can cut any time now. "Bend your knees, keep your ankles together," Cameron says. Seriously, cut. End the scene. We get it. But no, we see Cameron apparently checking things out. "Oh my god," she says. Cameron! Don't react like that in front of the kid! Poor thing is traumatized enough already that you're looking at that and presumably poking around there, and you have to give a horrified "oh my god" at the sight too?
Later, Cameron explains to the Cottages what her outburst was about. She found a ton of little cuts all over Lucy's private area. Chase says that Lucy could be doing it herself; she's a little young for self-mutilation, but she's a little young for a stroke, too. Maybe it's a reaction to being molested. It doesn't give them any clues, though, since Cameron says that the cuts weren't deep enough to account for all the blood. Wow, she really did do a thorough exam. She says there's no evidence of sexual penetration or any kind of abuse, so the blood couldn't be from there. Foreman wonders if the blood is even Lucy's.
Meanwhile, House's clinic patient has returned for the results of his urine test. House suspects that the patient gave him someone else's urine, so he wants to do a blood test right here and now. Clinic Patient asks why he'd give House someone else's urine, and House says that he thinks it's because the person the urine belongs to doesn't have insurance and Clinic Patient does, so Clinic Patient is going in on that person's behalf and using his urine. House points out the stupidity of this, given that PPTH is a free clinic. I can't believe someone would go to all that trouble but not, like, look up PPTH to see if her non-insurance-having ass could afford it. And it is a she, as we know since the donator of the urine sample is pregnant. House would be happy to kill the fetus for her, which might be best for everyone, since that baby is clearly not getting very intelligent genes from either of its parents.
Cuddy calls House outside to yell at him for not calling social services about his possible abuse victim. House has more important things to worry about: namely, why Cuddy is wearing extra concealer under her eyes. House says that since Deran consented to the exam, they know he isn't her abuser (not really, but okay), and more importantly, House thinks Cuddy was up late last night, and he knows why. "PANTY HAMSTER GET A SPIN ON ITS WHEEL?!?!" he asks Cuddy and the entire staff of the clinic. Cuddy's face as she figures out what House means by "panty hamster" is great. Mine probably wasn't. "Panty hamster" is gross. Not as gross as "axe wound" or "roast beef curtains," but still gross. Cuddy cryptically says she "went to a play" and orders House back to his office to call social services.