House
Act Your Age

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Everyone Has Hormones Except Cameron

House peruses a magazine in the hospital gift shop. He closes it with a smile and tells the clerk, "They printed my letter." Clearly, House was reading Penthouse, even though the cover of the magazine was about pterodactyls and probably the further adventures of Bat Boy. Wilson runs up, all upset because House was right after all: the theater has some kind of strange aphrodisiac effect on women, and now Cuddy has sent Wilson flowers with a note attached that reads: "Let's do it again. Soon. xx Lisa." "Soon is its own sentence!" Wilson panics. He spots Cuddy across the hall and runs away. House enters the clinic and boasts that the tabloid magazine printed his letter and that Wilson's acting weird because House sent him flowers. The smile on House's face is priceless. It's no surprise to me. The Cuddy I know wouldn't send a man flowers (who would?), nor would she write such a silly letter.

Cameron returns to the office with her arms full of possible hormone sources from Deran's house. Jasper heelies up to her and asks if Chase is her boyfriend. Cameron says no, and Jasper offers to be her boyfriend. You've got to admire the kid for trying. "I...think that wouldn't be fair to the girls your own age," Cameron says. I think it would be very fair. I'm sure they aren't missing out on anything not being able to date obnoxious brat Jasper of the frequent bloody noses. He says Chase "seems like a tool." Cameron decides to walk Jasper back to his father. Jasper reaches out and grabs Cameron's ass. When she turns around, shocked, he gives her an eyebrow raise. Eewww.

Foreman and Chase try to get a sample of the ovary mass for a biopsy, but Lucy goes into V-fib and has to be shocked back to life. Chase claims that it's a reaction to the red-cell-producing drugs they gave her and not his suckitude at biopsy-getting. He's 0-for-2 at that for this episode, by the way. Foreman has worse news: the growth they thought was the puberty-creating tumor is just a benign cyst. No one takes this opportunity to say "it's not a tumor" in his best Schwarzenegger voice, but Cameron does take the time to say that they must be looking at an environmental source after all, and it's a good thing she brought all that crap from Deran's house. It's a lot of crap, too, and Foreman takes one look at it and decides to leave the job to Chase and Cameron while he gets a full night's rest. Ha!

Chase is grabbing a late-night coffee. Cameron is very familiar with the machine since she keeps getting screwed with the overnight shifts, and she tells him not to get a mochaccino, since someone put hot cocoa in there by accident. She also tells him that he was right about Jasper's crush. He grabbed her ass. Chase takes this discussion as a gesture of friendliness and responds in kind. Incredibly attractive smiles are exchanged. Cameron apologizes to Chase for misleading him and hurting him. Glad she's over it now. Chase pushes his luck and says that Cameron never misled him -- she does have feelings for him. Chase points out that if Cameron can have feelings for puppies and random patients, surely she has feelings for a co-worker of three years she's had sex with. He strokes her hand, but the mood is ruined when a screaming Jasper runs up and tackles Chase, biting his arm. Chase flails around and pretty much gets his ass kicked by an eight-year-old. Man, first Chase gets hit by a mob guy, then a cripple, and now an eight-year-old? By the end of the series, baby-fetuses will be reaching out of their mother's wombs to punch Chase in the stomach. Cameron restrains Jasper while Chase stares at the bite marks on his arm and tries not to cry.

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House

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