House

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Sara M: A- | 1 USERS: A-
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Bring It On

Brandon's set up for the arrhythmia triggering session. Kumar presses buttons to stimulate different parts of Brandon's heart while Taub pulls double duty: he watches to see how Brandon's heart is doing while also having a conversation with House about how he's essentially keeping him hostage at PPTH until he's sure Taub won't go home and confess everything to his wife. House just says "guilt fades quickly," so Taub can look forward to going home Wednesday at the latest. Taub wonders why House suddenly cares about Taub's marriage staying intact. "If it ain't broke ... " House starts, and poor Hugh Laurie hates saying "ain't," doesn't he? Truly American words like "y'all" and "ain't" are painful for British people to say. Taub calls bullshit on that, saying House reveled in the possibility of it being broken when he thought the wife had a secret bank account. House counters with a spectacular metaphor about Taub's marriage being like a "broken toaster," in that no matter how much un-toasted bread pops out of it, Taub still insists that it's toast. And that leads to a metaphor within a metaphor where House says Taub puts his bread in many different toasters. Epic metaphor. A++. Brandon's mind is totally blown by the brilliance of House's double metaphor and he goes into V-tach. Weirdly enough, Brandon remains conscious. House finds that "cool," because it means they get to zap Brandon while he's awake to feel it. Yeah ... I read this book written by a guy who worked as a paramedic and he once had to shock a conscious man like that and said it was extremely painful, with the man screaming in agony throughout. That doesn't sound cool at all. Brandon doesn't seem to be in as much pain as that, although he's not having the greatest time of it either. Meanwhile, House starts stroking Brandon's hair. He must really miss Wilson. Kumar tells House to get away from Brandon while he shocks him again, but House studies Brandon's hair some more, asking if he dyes it. Brandon tries not to die as he says he doesn't. House notes that the roots are red. Kumar asks him again to get out of the way. I think Kumar should just zap Brandon while House is touching him. Teach him a lesson. The second shock gets Brandon's heart rate back to normal. Taub's theory seems to have been proven by the heart's reaction to the test, only to be disproved by the new symptoms of hair changing color. "Either he's lying about dying ... or just dying," House says. You might want to wait until you're out of the patient's earshot before you say he could be dying, House. Then again, such extreme measures might be the only way they can get Brandon to confess that he dyes his hair.

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House

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