House

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Sara M: A- | 1 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Bring It On

Chase is about to start the surgery when the OR gets a phone call. A woman talks on the phone for all of two seconds before hanging up and telling Chase it's House. Chase already knows that House has gotten his trademark last-minute flash of brilliance and tells an assistant to wake Brandon up. The woman tells them to hold up: Brandon still needs surgery. Just not on his heart. He needs to have a bezoar removed. The woman doesn't even know what that is but apparently didn't see the need to ask House for clarification before hanging up and relaying a partial message to Chase. If there's one message you really, really want to make sure you get absolutely correct, I'd think it'd be an order for a patient's surgery. But Nurse Half-Ass doesn't agree.

So, what is a bezoar? Taub explains it all to Heather. It's "like a hairball" except it's made up of undigested food. Brandon's antacid drugs caused his stomach to be too low on acid to digest everything, so it just stayed in there looking disgusting (as we see on the Magic Schoolbus Cam, which gets a special stop-motion animation segment this week as we watch the nasty-ass bezoar grow and rot and become sticky). It then sucked up all of the drugs Brandon was taking, only to release them all at the same time. Um ... hmm ... they didn't see a large mass in Brandon's stomach on any of the scans they did? Really? In surgery, Chase pulls out a large clump from Brandon's stomach that you just know has to smell sooooooo bad. I can't believe Brandon didn't notice he had a big lump in his stomach. My stomach always hurts when I eat stuff that takes a long time to digest. Like Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. You can only go once a year because it takes that long for your meal to work its way through your body. And you feel it every step of the way. But Brandon's walking around with this large foul brick of pills and rotten food in his stomach, thinking people have wavy faces every other month, and is completely unaware that there could be anything wrong. Chase puts the bezoar in a metal pan and tells the nurses "that is why I won't let Cameron buy a cat." And you just know she asks for one, like, every day. Cameron loves kittens!

Taub finishes with Heather by saying Brandon will be fine. She seems very relieved. He asks if she's glad Brandon finally told her the truth once it was absolutely necessary. "Yes, of course," she says. "Were you happier before you knew?" Taub asks. That's not the point, Taub. Heather doesn't answer because there's a woman dangling a key behind Taub.

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House

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