For some reason, House brought props to the differential session: Brandon's works of art. They aren't very good. In fact, the accidental abstract portrait is probably his best piece. The others are plain old undistorted pictures that look like the best my high school art class could churn out. And we didn't even have money for certain colors of paint, or new paintbrushes. While Taub plays art critic, Foreman says the "acute onset visual agnosia" could be a stroke or a brain tumor. Meanwhile, House is staring at Hadley, and it's making her uncomfortable. It throws her off her game (or maybe she just sucks at her job, which is actually much more likely given what we've seen of her "skills") and she diagnoses Brandon with a typical artist's drug problem even though the ER already obviously checked him for drugs when he was admitted. House calls her a moron for this and then asks why her car loan has a twelve percent interest rate. Hadley is so shocked that she forgets to play it cool and admits that she does, indeed, pay that much interest although she doesn't say why. Ha ha! Hadley has bad credit. Ha ha ha! She'd better watch out -- I heard that defaulting on loans is one of the first symptoms of Huntington's. With this, the entire team realizes that House's pet P.I. has investigated them all, and they're not thrilled. Especially not Taub, although since House already knows that he was fired from his old job for sleeping with a nurse, he couldn't have much more to hide, could he? Hadley asks how this could possibly be relevant to their jobs, and House says you never know -- perhaps Brandon has neurosyphilis and the last vial of penicillin is in a room at the end of a twenty-mile long, two-foot high hallway. Actually, I'm pretty sure that's where Marco the Pharmacist is hiding out these days since he got sick of House breaking into his little clinic pharmacy and stealing his drugs. A long, short hallway is pretty much House-proof with his bad leg.
"You've discovered that one of us has been hiding the ability to stretch or shrink themselves?" Taub asks. That struck me as hilariously funny, as did House's indignant response: "No. I would never out someone's super powers." It would be awesome if we found out that Kumar had arms like Dhalsim, but this show isn't Heroes so the explanation is much more ordinary than that -- Kumar once crawled a world record twenty miles. "My name's in the Guinness Book," he says. SCANDALOUS! Come on, Lucas. Surely you can do better than that. Taub says that must really get the ladies' attention. Kumar says he didn't do it to get ladies. "No. That would cheapen the purity of your achievement," Taub says. Oh, look at Taub with his cutting wit today! House just smiles, loving every moment of his team's discomfort and in-fighting. Honestly, though, I can't see how he thought Kumar would be ashamed of his crawling record. Maybe it left him with badly scarred knees or something, but even those would be marks of honor and not shame. Foreman asks if they can get back to work now. Kumar shrugs that they just need to give Brandon an MRI with contrast (of DOOOM?) and asks what Lucas got on Taub. House says he has nothing on Taub. He does, however, have something juicy on Taub's wife. "That's enough," Foreman says warningly. Since when did Foreman care that House was abusing his fellows? Maybe Foreman slept with Taub's wife and doesn't want it to get out. House gets all huffy and says they can get right to work looking at Brandon's head and his giant artist loft. "Can't Lucas?" Kumar asks hopefully. House immediately shoots that down. Lucas is busy. That's bad news for everyone with either something to hide or a world record.