House
After Hours

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C- | 1 USERS: B
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Take Your Work Home

A desperate, bleeding woman breaks into a car and hotwires it to life. She speeds through traffic, but has a hard time driving safely due to being on the verge of passing out from blood loss. Finally, she drives into some newspaper boxes on the Fox city street backlot set, gets out of the car, and staggers into an apartment building that apparently doesn't lock its front door. She knocks on the door of Apartment 3, and Hadley answers. Oh, good. I was hoping for another Hadley-centric episode. They're so rare these days!

But Hadley's friend, Darrien, is not at PPTH when the credits end like your typical Patient of the Week, but still in Hadley's apartment. She doesn't want to go to the hospital because the police will find her there and send her back to the jail where she and Hadley met for hanging out with convicted felons. Wait -- shouldn't Hadley also not be allowed near convicted felons? Like... Darrien? Whatever. Hadley doesn't seem too worried about it. Darrien thinks Hadley can just fix her up, but Hadley says it's much more complicated than that, and if Darrien were to die in Hadley's apartment, Hadley would be charged with manslaughter. That would be kind of funny, though, if Hadley managed to be charged with manslaughter of a friend just a few months after getting out of jail for killing her own brother. Darrien would rather leave Hadley's apartment and die in an alley than go to the hospital, leaving Hadley with no choice but to agree to help her in her own home. She promises Darrien that she won't take her to the hospital.

House is relaxing at home, and he has company: one of his prostitutes, who is considerate enough of her client to refuse to agree to a Kama Sutra position he's proposing because she knows House's bad leg won't be able to do it. House says she doesn't need to worry about that, as he is taking an "experimental medicine" that regrew his leg muscle. He tries to prove his newfound strength to her by lifting up some huge, heavy guitar amps. He's successful in his efforts for a few seconds before one of the amps topples over and falls through his glass coffee table. His special rat medicine was also on that table, just sitting out in the open in a little dish, and so spills all over the floor. House will have to get more, which he'd rather go out and do than spend time with the prostitute. I guess the unsuccessful guitar-amp-lifting killed the mood.

Hadley digs a few fingers into Darrien's wound to feel her internal organs and make sure they weren't hit by the knife that pierced Darrien's right side. Hadley reports that everything is fine except for Darrien's liver, which was nicked but seems to have clotted over. Then, as the camera waves around the scene annoyingly (seriously, it was in rare form this week. I thought this show had finally gotten over the way-too-artsy, distracting direction), Hadley checks Darrien for internal bleeding. She doesn't find any signs of it... yet.

And over at Foreman's apartment, Foreman comes home from the gym to find Taub and the woman he sleeps with when he isn't with his ex-wife, Ruby, in the middle of a seemingly serious conversation. Ruby jumps up and leaves to go to work. Foreman asks Taub if they just broke up or something. Taub says it's much worse than that: Ruby is pregnant. Oops!

Darrien tells Hadley and us how she wound up getting stabbed. The police raided her boyfriend/dealer/pimp/whatever's place, so he stabbed her "to slow the cops down." That doesn't even make sense. Also, way to get an attempted murder charge and several years tacked onto your sentence for no reason when the cops do catch you, boyfriend/dealer/pimp/whatever. Of course, Darrien says, the ploy didn't even work. The cops just called an ambulance for Darrien and kept chasing after the guy, leaving her lying there unattended. So she got up, stole that car, and parked it basically on the doorstep of Hadley's apartment building. Yeah, I'm sure the cops won't figure out where she's hiding. Very clever, Darrien. Hadley interrupts Darrien's boring life story to inform her that she has no blood pressure and almost no pulse in her left arm. Since Darrien is clearly not dead, that doesn't make sense. Hadley puts the cuff around Darrien's other arm, which does register a blood pressure. This means that something must be cutting off the blood supply to Darrien's left arm, and she could really use a hospital about now. Instead, Hadley calls Chase, of all people. He's lying in bed reading a book about the Crusades, but when she asks if he's busy, he claims he's "about to go out." Hadley asks if he can pick up a portable ultrasound machine from PPTH and drop it off at her place on his way. She claims she needs it to figure out why the pipe in her bathroom is leaking.

House finds the Clinical Research Lab open and the underpaid dork who is apparently the only guy who works there in despite the seemingly late hour. Underpaid Dork is packing everything up, which House believes is because the drug trial, no doubt a huge success, is over. Underpaid Dork says the trial ended because all of the test subjects died after developing little rat tumors in their little rat legs. House is clearly ad understandably alarmed at the news. He asks if the rats showed any symptoms that something was wrong. Underpaid Dork says their legs seemed a little stiff and they had trouble picking up little rat guitar amps. A day or two later, they were dead. How exactly do little tumors kill that quickly? Is it because they were cancerous? Doesn't cancer take more than a few days to kill someone? Weird.

Chase shows up at Hadley's place with the portable ultrasound. Hadley grabs it and tries to close the door in his face, but he puts a hand out to stop it, noting that her socks are dry. So she probably isn't dealing with a leak in her bathroom after all. Good detective work, Chase, although I have a feeling that he never believed her story in the first place due to it being pretty ridiculous. He says if she needs the ultrasound for something medical, then he can help. "I am a doctor," he says. Thank you for the exposition, Chase, but I think we all knew that already. Hadley decides to let Chase in, and he sees Darrien on the couch. Hadley explains that Darrien is her friend and that she met her in prison, which is where she was last year, by the way. Surely Chase is now regretting insisting on helping out.

House manages to give himself a PET scan without anyone in PPTH knowing. The results are bad news for him: just like the rats, he has a bunch of tumors in his leg. That sucks for him, but I don't really feel sorry for the guy. He should have known better than to inject himself with something that wasn't even finished being tested on lab rats. Also, this makes him the second character on this show to get tumors from an experimental medicine: remember Hadley and her Huntington's trial brain tumor? I guess the writers were hoping we would forget.

Hadley ultrasounds Darrien while Chase paces her apartment, shocked to have just heard the details on how Hadley ended up in jail. He thinks she should talk to a professional about her issues, but she'd rather concentrate on Darrien and the aortic arch aneurysm she believes is cutting off the blood supply to Darrien's left arm. "Help me or leave," Hadley barks. Chase decides to help, and makes a move towards Darrien. Hadley tells him to put gloves on first, since Darrien has hepatitis C. I'm sorry, but shouldn't Chase be putting gloves on, like, no matter what for this kind of thing? Shouldn't doctors always approach patients with gloves on? For both the doctor's and the patient's sakes? These people are so bad at being doctors.

While Chase is struggling to put the gloves on (he's not used to them, so it might take a while), Hadley says Darrien was her friend in prison and probably saved her life by taking her under her wing. Unfortunately for Darrien, that wing is now starting to turn blue and go numb from the lack of blood. There is no aneurysm, but Hadley is able to see something in Darrien's arm on the u

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