While Cuddy tends to the blonde, House announces to the entire plane that he needs Cottages so he can have someone off of whom to bounce his crazy ideas. He recruits a kid with floppy blond hair who can say "crikey, mate" to be his AirChase, ordering him to agree with everything House says. AirChase agrees. AirForeman is some guy who doesn't speak English, which is fitting, since the real Foreman might as well not speak English either for all the lines he gets. And AirCameron is a woman House instructs to be morally outraged at everything he says. She responds by bitchily telling House that he's about to use permanent marker on his makeshift whiteboard, the plane's movie screen. Also, I believe she's wearing a sweater vest. And she can do a raised eyebrow like no one's business. But will she sleep with AirChase?
Pleased with his choices, House scribbles down the Korean's symptoms. He offers a diagnosis of organophosphate poisoning and looks to his AirCottages for opinions. "Could be," AirChase says. "Sorry, English not so nice," AirForeman responds. "Is this a joke?" Air Cameron spits. She does not, however, derail the medical emergency by asking House personal questions. Some AirCameron she is. Cuddy walks in and says that the plane is past the halfway mark, so they can't turn around. Of course. House says that doesn't matter, because he has cleverly diagnosed the problem as a combination of organophosphate poisoning, food poisoning, deep vein thrombosis, and jetlag. Cuddy is dubious, but when House hears that both the Korean and the blonde ate the plane's seafood lunch options, he suggests poisoning by Ciguatera, a fast-acting toxin found in certain kinds of seafood. Since the Korean ate Chilean sea bass and the blonde ate seafood kebobs, this seems to fit. House gets on the PA, much to the flight attendant's dismay, and announces to the plane that anyone who had the seafood kebobs has probably been poisoned. But if they all run to the bathrooms right now and barf it out of their systems, they should be fine. Also, this should be a valuable lesson to them not to eat "seafood kebobs," ever, and especially not on a plane. Immediately, half the passengers jump out of their seats, all making a mad dash for the bathroom instead of using the convenient airsick bags in the seatback pockets. House watches the ensuing chaos with just a little bit of glee until Cuddy says she stills thinks they're dealing with meningitis, saying it fits the symptoms as well as food poisoning. "I know," House says rather seriously. I guess he realizes that there's nothing they can do now if it is meningitis, so it's better for everyone on the plane if they think it's an easily cured case of food poisoning and turn the bathrooms into vomitoriums. And since House ruined their movie screen, they don't have anything else to do anyway.













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