House
Airborne

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Flakes On A Plane

House shines a flashlight in Cuddy's face. She responds by throwing her hands up and waving them around, then declaring this sensitivity to light another symptom of meningitis. Maybe, but then again, I'd do the same thing if someone shined a flashlight in my face. That's annoying. "We need antibiotics!" Cuddy says. Apparently, another symptom of meningitis is thinking that people can pull antibiotics out of their asses. House ignores her, instead trying to diagnose Cuddy by smell. Hey, it's worked before. He sniffs around, explaining that different bacteria have different smells. Then he tries to get her pants down, claiming he needs to get a better look at the rash that has spread to her abdomen. Cuddy tells him to use his imagination. Seriously, House, if you want to get a look at Cuddy's bits that badly, just wait for her to die of meningitis first. The flight attendant comes in to say that three more passengers are sick. Cuddy says if they don't get drugs, the passengers will die. Well, if that's the case, then I'm sure the antibiotic fairy will stop by.

Wilson informs Robin that Fran doesn't have breast cancer. Robin interrupts to inform him that she just met Fran today. Wilson considers this, much like he considers every single thing anyone's said to him during this episode, then tells her to leave. Robin says Fran needs someone. "That's not your job," Wilson says. Well, actually ... it kind of is. People use prostitutes when they're lonely and need company. Robin agrees to leave, but gives Wilson her number and tells him to call her and let her know that Fran is okay.

Meanwhile, Cameron's trying to convince both Foreman and herself that you can have a relationship that's "just sex." Their chat is cut short when Fran slumps over and falls into a coma, as bored with Cameron's personal life bullshit as I am.

House and AirChase go around collecting pills from passengers, hoping to score enough antibiotics to save Cuddy. House finds one woman whom he instadiagnoses with herpes. She's surprised at this, but the guy sitting next to her is not. He hands House the herpes meds that are right in his coat pocket. Oh, you ASSHOLE! He knew he had herpes, didn't tell her, and then gave it to her! That is horrible. House takes the bottle, but he's sure to give the woman a few tablets for herself. House is frustrated with his fellow passengers and their reluctance to give him their medicines, so he announces that people will die unless everyone gets more generous. I don't know why people are being so shitty about giving up their medicine; is it because they want to save it for themselves in case they get sick, or is it because drugs cost so damn much in America? Either way, House's speech gets results. That, or everyone has herpes and they're afraid House will tell on them to their spouses or girl/boyfriends if they don't do what he wants.

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House

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