House
Airborne

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Flakes On A Plane

Back on the ground, Foreman is sure that Fran has a bleed in her brain. He wants to drill into her brain to fix it, even though he has no proof that there's even a bleed there and it hasn't shown up on any of the scans they've done. Cameron thinks they should do an LP first to be certain it's a bleed, but Foreman says that's just as dangerous as the brain drill. Cameron turns to Chase for support, and Foreman is all pissy, of course. Chase agrees with Cameron that they should know what's wrong with Fran before they dig into her brain, as if that's ever stopped House before. But Wilson agrees with the majority, and Fran will get an LP. You'd think Foreman would be used to being in the minority, but he's furious and says he hopes that the sex is damn good. And yes, Foreman, having sex with co-workers is unprofessional, but guess what? So is bringing it up all the time.

House looks through his stash of passenger drugs. There isn't much by way of antibiotics. They've got pills of something penicillin-related that Cuddy tells House to give to the Korean guy, followed by an epi-pen chaser for his allergy to penicillin. House wants Cuddy to take the pills instead, saying she's more worth saving since she speaks English. And because he loooooves her. But Cuddy bravely refuses. House says he doesn't want to waste pills if they don't know for sure it's meningitis. Cuddy's solution is to do an LP to confirm the meningitis, and here's where things go a little downhill for me in this episode. Parallel storytelling is cool most of the time, but in the episode, it's just a little too parallel with both Fran and the Korean getting LPs to confirm a diagnosis. Watching one LP is bad enough; I don't need to watch two. House reminds her that they're not in the best place to do an LP. They don't have the proper equipment, and the plane's unpredictable movements could cause House to paralyze the Korean. Cuddy says they can let the Korean die, then, and she'll get the meds. What about the blonde? Why doesn't she get the meds? Did she already die?

All things considered, I think I'd rather have an LP done by House on an airplane than by anyone at PPTH. Chase does the LP on Fran, while House does his on the Korean using a needle from the plane's first aid kit. He manages to collect the fluid and examine it while Cuddy yells at him for refusing to turn the plane around when they had the chance and condemning them all to death. House just leaves her there and goes back to the economy section. He hands AirCameron an open glass of spinal fluid, which you're never, ever supposed to do, and he gets on the PA. He announces to everyone on the plane that the Korean does in fact have bacterial meningitis, and he'll die before they land. Everyone on the plane mutters worriedly except for AirCameron, who just looks pissed off. House continues that lots of other passengers probably have it, too. So if they start feeling the following symptoms, they should get into the first-class quarantine ASAP. He lists them, and what do you know, everyone on the plane suddenly starts showing those exact symptoms! I think they're just following the blonde's lead and trying to score first-class seats. After House tells them to watch for tremors in their left hand and several passengers suddenly finds themselves with shaky left hands, House tells the flight attendant to "break out the bubbly" and then makes a second announcement: no one has meningitis after all! House explains that they have Conversion Disorder, a/k/a mass hysteria. They were so convinced that they had meningitis that they started showing its symptoms. What a bunch of tools. Seriously, how lame of them. They should all be ashamed of themselves. The blonde and Cuddy in first class cry out that House is wrong -- they most certainly do have meningitis. The blonde says her hand is shaking, and House explains that's not a symptom of meningitis. He just said it was to see if people would start showing it to test his mass hysteria theory. Blonde asks how she could get a rash, then. "Your mind controls your body," says the guy who refuses to believe that his leg pain might be worse on days when he's in emotional pain. House tells the rest of the plane that all they need to do is calm down and break up with their herpes-infected boyfriends, and the flight attendants will give them all free drinks.

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House

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