House
Airborne

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Flakes On A Plane

Pleased with his choices, House scribbles down the Korean's symptoms. He offers a diagnosis of organophosphate poisoning and looks to his AirCottages for opinions. "Could be," AirChase says. "Sorry, English not so nice," AirForeman responds. "Is this a joke?" Air Cameron spits. She does not, however, derail the medical emergency by asking House personal questions. Some AirCameron she is. Cuddy walks in and says that the plane is past the halfway mark, so they can't turn around. Of course. House says that doesn't matter, because he has cleverly diagnosed the problem as a combination of organophosphate poisoning, food poisoning, deep vein thrombosis, and jetlag. Cuddy is dubious, but when House hears that both the Korean and the blonde ate the plane's seafood lunch options, he suggests poisoning by Ciguatera, a fast-acting toxin found in certain kinds of seafood. Since the Korean ate Chilean sea bass and the blonde ate seafood kebobs, this seems to fit. House gets on the PA, much to the flight attendant's dismay, and announces to the plane that anyone who had the seafood kebobs has probably been poisoned. But if they all run to the bathrooms right now and barf it out of their systems, they should be fine. Also, this should be a valuable lesson to them not to eat "seafood kebobs," ever, and especially not on a plane. Immediately, half the passengers jump out of their seats, all making a mad dash for the bathroom instead of using the convenient airsick bags in the seatback pockets. House watches the ensuing chaos with just a little bit of glee until Cuddy says she stills thinks they're dealing with meningitis, saying it fits the symptoms as well as food poisoning. "I know," House says rather seriously. I guess he realizes that there's nothing they can do now if it is meningitis, so it's better for everyone on the plane if they think it's an easily cured case of food poisoning and turn the bathrooms into vomitoriums. And since House ruined their movie screen, they don't have anything else to do anyway.

Chase and Cameron are giggling in the lab while Foreman glowers. Wilson comes in and asks if they found anything in the house. Cameron says it was a "big waste of time," to which Chase adds: "Medically." Foreman considers killing them, but just says that the CT and blood tests he was stuck doing while Cameron and Chase got to have sex in some old lady's bed were negative for everything. Chase says that Fran's tattoo didn't cause the problem either; she's negative for lead poisoning and sepsis. "Are we sure she's even sick?" Foreman asks, at this point trying to get out of work because he hates everyone there. Wilson says she just had two more seizures, so yes, it's real. Cameron points out that Fran is having fewer seizures now than she was when they took the patch off, which gives Wilson an idea. "I'm an idiot!" he declares. It's so nice to hear him finally admit what we've known for at least two seasons now. He assumed they were looking for something Fran got because of her recent hard-partying ways and ignored the obvious: Fran has breast cancer and paraneoplastic syndrome, the symptoms of which, Wilson explains, can be reduced by the stuff in motion sickness patches.

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House

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