House
All In

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Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Moby Sick

The Cottages arrive to find House writing on the Whiteboard O'Symptoms, asking them what a six-year-old and a seventy-year-old have in common, when it comes to diseases. Cameron jumps right in while the guys check their watches. Apparently, they both have a hot benefit honey waiting for them downstairs. They're even more put out when they look over the two case files and realize that one of them is from twelve years ago and the other is Cuddy's patient with what seems to be a cut-and-dried case of gastroenteritis and certainly not the kidney failure House is writing on the board. House assures them that the kid will soon be suffering from kidney failure, since his disease is the exact same one as Ester's and will therefore progress the same way. And then House spins around to get a look at Cameron in her hot dress-wearin' glory. He takes a second to gasp at her beauty. I didn't know that Jennifer Morrison got to write for as well as act in this show. How nice for her!

House gets back to the case, saying that, twelve years ago, when the Cottages were wearing Frankie says Relax! T-shirts (and looking really strange doing it, since that would have been 1994, not 1984), he was treating a patient with the same initial symptoms Ian has now. The patient died in less than twenty-four hours. Chase thinks House is being ridiculous, as does the rest of the group when House orders them to do a colonoscopy on a six-year-old. They're looking for purple papules that are the hallmark of Erdheim-Chester disease, which is extremely rare and which House is sure both Ian and Ester have. He doesn't know for sure in either case, though, because he never got the chance to do an autopsy on Ester. Amazingly, House writes her name on the board, showing that he only makes an effort to know the names of the people he didn't cure. Not much of an effort, though, as he spells her name "Esther" and her file claims it's "Ester."

Foreman and Chase do the colonoscopy. While poor Ian gets to hear all this, Chase tells Foreman about how come every time someone comes in with Ester-like symptoms, House assumes it's Erdheim-Chester and makes them run all kinds of horrible tests before it turns out that the patient doesn't have Erdheim-Chester or anything remotely serious at all. Outside, Cameron tells Ian's parents that they're testing Ian for something that they're sure he doesn't have. Shouldn't they be in the room holding Ian's hand while two strangers shove a camera up his ass? Foreman sees something that could be a purple papule. Chase argues that it's just a blood blister, and that he doesn't think they should bother with it. Foreman wisely ignores him and does a biopsy.

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