Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 1 USERS: A-
Maturity Hour

Megan's awake, and Cuddy tells her to blink her eye (the other one is still swollen shut) once if she can hear her. Okay, but...what if Megan had to blink anyway? This isn't a very sound method, Cuddy. Why don't you make a bet with Megan that if she wakes up you'll leave her alone for a week? Cuddy tells a confused Megan that she was in an accident and had a fever, but that's gone now and she's recovering nicely. Ben sidles up and says he won't leave her side. Cuddy continues using her blink-once technique to ask Megan if she was seeing a psychiatrist and on MAOIs. Megan's blinking indicates that she was. Or that her eyes are dry. Same diff. And then her heart starts racing and Cuddy has to give her the paddles.

When House reports to work the next morning, he finds Cuddy in his office playing with a rubber-band ball. She smilingly tells him that he lost the bet after all, since Megan totally almost died. What great news! Congratulations, Cuddy! Your trophy can be an urn with Megan's ashes in it. Geez. House splits hairs and says he explained the fever. Megan's heart problem is another matter entirely. Cuddy says the only confirmation they got that House's guess was correct was a wink. "Maybe she saw a cute guy across the room," she says. Well, now we see the folly of our blink-once plan, don't we, Cuddy? House is more concerned with a note from the guitar-napper on his desk that contains a Polaroid of his guitar and the words "I'm not dead. Yet." Kind of like Megan. Cuddy dares him to solve Megan's heart problem or else admit he can't solve cases on his own, and he springs into action by walking her over to the Whiteboard O'Symptoms, giving her a pen, and leaving.

"You win," he admits to Wilson. The stunning admission is not met with the gravity it deserves. I don't think House has ever admitted defeat before. Wilson doesn't quite believe it, and refuses to give House his guitar back until after he's actually done the interviewing. He teases House by saying he heard some "plangent strumming" under his couch, but when House lifts the couch to check (with one arm, in what appears to be an effortless gesture -- someone's been lifting weights over the summer!), there's nothing there. "Wow. This kidnapper isn't just bold -- he's diabolical!" Wilson says admiringly. A resigned and not at all amused House takes the applications from Wilson, who is starting this season off well for me.

House finds Cuddy staring at a blank Whiteboard because she kind of sucks at being a doctor. And an administrator. But we love her anyway! House takes pity on her and also realizes she won't leave his office until she gets him to do his job, so he suggests that Crush Syndrome caused Megan's heart problem. Cuddy orders him to do an echocardiogram to confirm this, and she leaves. Damn, House! Wilson's making you do interviews and Cuddy is making you do work! Without the Cottages around to do your bidding and make you feel superior, you kind of have to take other people's shit.

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