House
Autopsy

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Crossing The Line

Cameron reads off Cancer Girl's (a.k.a. Andie. Or is it "Andy"? "Andi"? I'm going with the first one) medical records, which include, like, five operations and fourteen rounds of chemo. Amazingly, Cameron is able to read them all without running off to marry anyone or start a friendship club. There's hope for her yet! Chase says that if he had terminal cancer, he'd stay home and watch TV. I wonder if that's what his dad is doing right now. From beyond the grave, though, since he only had three months to live back in March, not that it's been mentioned since it was brought up. Also, watching TV would be the last thing I'd do if I knew my time was running out. I'd go sky-diving and plan my wicked awesome funeral. I think Fox just gave Chase that line as part of its ongoing effort to tap into the hospice residents demographic now that CBS's stranglehold has started to show a few cracks. House enters, still all colded up, and asks for a differential diagnosis. "On your marks, get set..." he starts, and Cameron runs off to make tea like a good woman as Foreman starts listing reasons for Andie's hallucinations, only to get smacked down by House for not waiting until he said "go." False-start Foreman makes a hilarious "I am not humoring this man's eccentricities today" look, and then adds that hallucinations could have been caused by chemo poisoning, which Cameron discounts because Andie's last round of chemo was too long ago for symptoms to start showing up now. Chase asks whether there's a genetic component, allowing Foreman to exposit that Andie's dad took off when Mom was pregnant, and that both parents' records are clean.

House looks at some CT scans of Andie's head for meningial swelling that would indicate an infection. He doesn't find any, so he orders tox screen and an MRI to get another look. The Cottages point out that neither toxic exposure nor an infection makes any sense, and House says that there's nothing else to test for, so they might as well do it. He then orders Cameron to stay away from the patient. "What'd I do?" Cameron asks. It's not about what you did, Cameron, it's about what you didn't do. Like, not informing a terminal cancer patient that she had terminal cancer until the Chief of Oncology forced you to. House just says that he knows how Cameron is around terminal cancer patients, and that he doesn't want to get the hospital involved in a custody battle. Neither do I, since it would give Stacy screen time. Also, ha! I love it when House does my work for me. Foreman and Chase snicker, Chase adorably hiding his grin behind a file folder, but House won't let Chase have any fun, so he adds that Chase should tell Andie's mom that, while Chase would be happy to watch TV and die if he were Andie, he'll "go through the motions" of saving her daughter's life anyway. The guys leave, and House takes a sip of the concoction Cameron made for him. "What the hell is this?" he asks her. "Black walnut and ginger," Cameron responds, leaving out the special secret ingredient: Spanish Fly. "It's nice," House says. One of the first symptoms of a Benadryl OD is uncharacteristic kindness.

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