House
Autopsy

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Sara M: B- | 3 USERS: A+
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Crossing The Line

Chase prepares Andie for the catheter thing. Basically, they're looking for a blockage. If they find one, they'll pull it out, and we'll all watch the file footage of a clot being removed that we saw at least twice last season. After Chase explains the whole process to Andie, she reveals that she's had this done before, but lied about it because she likes hearing Chase talk. Darlin', you are going to live another year at the most. You don't have time to waste hearing repeated instructions, even if they do come from a cute Australian. Chase laughs nervously. Andie says that she's never kissed a boy, and Chase gets a little more nervous. "There's time yet for that," he says. Except that there kind of isn't. Andie says she almost kissed a boy at Cancer Camp last summer, but that it didn't work out. And she knows that there's a good chance she won't live to walk out of PPTH, and that even if she does, all the boys in her school still think girls have cooties. Wow, she still has to go to school? That sucks. Chase promises Andie that she will walk out of PPTH and she will kiss a boy. He's really good with kids, unless those kids are fat. Sometimes, though, he's a little too good, as we are about to see. "Will you kiss me?" Andie asks. Chase says he will not. He's thirty (he is? This show's timeline is wonkier than Alias's). Andie is nine. There are laws against this, even in New Jersey. "I just wanna know what it feels like," Andie says. "Please kiss me?" And the part of Chase that's into the submissive side of S&M can't resist a direct order, so he bends down and kisses her. For seven seconds. I mean, it's not like he gave her tongue or anything, but seven seconds is a long time. Even a quick peck on the lips would have been weird just because of the sexual situation it's supposed to imply, and this lasts a lot longer than that. When it's done, Andie is quite pleased with herself. Chase isn't, so much. Nor should he be. That was weird.

House brings in the bagels the next morning as promised, complaining that he couldn't sleep at all last night, nor could he breathe. He's "dying." Of hay fever. Meanwhile, the girl who's dying of cancer had a bunch of normal test results. House directs Cameron to write Andie's symptoms on the whiteboard, and she feigns shock that she's actually allowed to touch the markers this week. House says that it's all written out in his advanced health-care directive. If House is incapacitated, Cameron runs the board, then Foreman. But not Chase, who's "just not ready yet." Chase rolls his eyes. Don't let him get to you, Chase. We've all seen how bad House is when it comes to picking out who will make decisions for him if he's incapacitated, so this really doesn't matter.

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