House
Babies & Bathwater

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Cameron-Free is the Way to Be!

In the elevator, Foreman calls Chase a pussy for not backing him up with House. Chase says he didn't see how yelling at House would make a time machine appear that they could hop into and change everything, so there wasn't any point. Foreman says that House is like a puppy who needs to be trained with negative reinforcement. Chase protests that House is more like an old dog who won't learn new tricks. Foreman calls Chase a coward. Chase calls Foreman a child. Then they both plaster fake smiles on their faces and enter Naomi's room. Hee.

Post-ultrasound, Chase reports that there is no fetal distress, and Naomi is so relieved that she takes a bite of something from her food tray and immediately chokes on it. Whoops! Foreman jams forceps down Naomi's throat and pulls out the offending food matter as a tear rolls down her cheek, and then it's over. Naomi's a little concerned about her difficulty swallowing.

In the Clinic, House's latest patient is a baby. Her young parents say that their baby has had quite a few colds in her short life, but this time she seems especially bad and has a high fever. House says that's because she has pneumonia, although that is not the biggest of their worries. Apparently, the baby has gone from the top twenty-fifth weight percentile to the bottom third in less than a month. And House might not be a baby expert, but he's pretty sure they aren't supposed to shrink like that. The parents say they put their daughter on a "raw" vegan diet when she stopped breastfeeding, which House immediately makes fun of because he hates those tree-hugging hippie parents. His line about the raw food diet being sort of useless since our ancestors discovered fire is pretty good, though. He orders the parents to give their daughter necessary fats and proteins instead of sprouts and hemp. "Starving babies is bad," he says. He's going to admit the baby to give her IV antibiotics and food.

Naomi enters the MRI of DOOM. In the booth, Chase and Foreman snap at each other until they are interrupted by Naomi, who has cramps. They pull her out and figure out that she's going into pre-term labor. They inject her with labor-stopping medicine that is fortunately hanging out in the MRI room (of DOOM).

House checks to make sure that his office is empty, and then sneaks in to check his mail. He turns around to come face-to-face with a brick wall that has suddenly installed itself behind him. A brick wall named Vogler, who's looking pretty hale and hearty, meaning that House's stage four cancer dream isn't going to come true any time soon. House says that he realizes his speech wasn't what Vogler wanted, so House fired Cameron. They should be all set. Not so much, as Vogler says that House can either give Vogler his letter of resignation tomorrow and issue a public apology for that speech, or Vogler will "destroy" him. "Destroy"? Quit being such a drama queen, Vogler.

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House

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