Episode Report Card
Sara M: C- | 1 USERS: B+

House hangs up and Alvie's hearing begins. House stands up and announces that he is Alvie's doctor and has a letter that proves Alvie's citizenship. Alvie's lawyer reads it to the court, and it shows DNA proof that Alvie is related to his mother, who apparently does have a birth certificate showing that she is a citizen. Um ... I think that's what happened, anyway. It doesn't really matter, since the upshot of this is that Alvie's citizenship is sorted out and he's free to go, so House didn't screw him over like we all thought after all. I don't know why he couldn't just tell Alvie what he was going to do so Alvie didn't feel horrible all night, but whatever. Alvie is surprised to find out that House was able to get some of his mom's DNA off of that cross necklace. So is House, who says he faked those test results. He just did a much better job of faking evidence than Alvie did. Alvie rewards House with a hug and offers to repaint House's entire apartment. I think it's safe to say that House is not pleased with either of those prizes.

Back at PPTH, Sydney is being wheeled into a UV light room, because apparently UV light can treat TB somehow. Doesn't UV light come from the sun? Why didn't that help all those people who died from TB before we invented antibiotics? Sydney's vitals are also crashing and her lungs are failing, but House stops Foreman and Chase to point out a mark on Sydney's ankle that no one noticed before because it's only visible under the UV light. It's a lame tattoo, too, saying just "Eddie Would Go," a surfing phrase. I guess when Sydney gave up surfing, she decided to give up any and all evidence of her surfing past. Except for that framed picture of her with a surfboard. So she had the tattoo removed from the top layers of her skin, but it's still there in the deeper layers, where it only shows up under UV light. Back in Nolan's office, House explains that when Sydney started her intense ultramarathon (Princeton 10K "ultramarathon") training, her immune system went all wonky, setting off an allergic reaction to the tattoo ink that was still trapped in her skin. They just have to cut away the skin with the tattoo ink in it and throw on an ink-less skin graft and Sydney will be fine. And to think, they almost cut out her brain. For no reason. Which would have been the second time they unnecessarily destroyed a patient's memories.

Nolan admits that House was right after all, and Sydney's past did come back to haunt her. He asks if she got her memory back. House says she hasn't yet and they have no idea if she ever will, but in the meantime, her husband is bringing her a bouquet of roses and basically courting her all over again instead of treating her like his wife. Nolan asks House if he was the one who suggested acting like this to the husband. Of course he was, even if he won't admit it. But he also asked Nolan what he thought the problem was with the couple even though he apparently already figured it out and helped the husband fix it, so Nolan thinks House is hung up on the relationship aspect of this case and the relationships he gained and lost this week with Wilson and Alvie. House says he didn't really gain a relationship with Alvie after all, as he returned home that night to find Alvie gone. He left a note behind. I was really scared that it was a suicide note or something horrible like that, but no, it just thanked House for helping him out of his troubles and said he was going to stay with his cousin in Arizona, where he's sure the immigration people won't bother him anymore. Oops. "What happened next?" Nolan asks. "Nothing happened next," House says. Except he just drank, like, an entire bottle of alcohol and staggers out of his apartment and towards the bar where he'd wind up getting kicked in the arm. "That's all I got," House says.

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