House
Better Half

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Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now!
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Don't You Forget About Me

External shot! Snowy soccer field. They find Andres underneath the bleachers and get a neck-thing onto him. He's got no pulse, but he could just be frozen.

He's brought in and House insists that he get warmed up fast to stop the brain damage. There's a danger that doing it too fast could damage his metabolism, but House doesn't care. It's time for extracorporeal circulation!

Foreman explains to Mrs. Andres that "extracorporeal circulation" means that they're warming up his blood outside his body and then sticking back inside to warm him up, and that this will start his heart somehow. So even though he's not breathing and has no heartbeat, he's still alive. Chase and Adams discuss the situation. Chase thinks he was trying to kill himself to save his wife the pain. Adams is appalled. There's brain activity. Chase tells sad stories about himself as a child taking care of his siblings and watching his mother die. He wishes his mother had shot herself instead of drinking herself to death.

BEEP BEEP BEEP! Ventricular fibrillation! Drugs! Paddles! His heart is shocked back into rhythm. Foreman tells Mrs. Andres that they're not done yet.

House has gotten Wilson's patient's husband in for a "free flu shot" so he can test him. Wilson interrupts. House points out that he was only not allowed to contact the patient, not the patient's husband. His new theory is that she's only pretending to be asexual because her husband is. So the hypothetical medical problem could be in the husband. And he doesn't care about Wilson's complaints about ethics. House admits that he's suspicious of claims of happiness, but he believes that Wilson is a sucker. I think Wilson has some kind of Memento problem, because surely he should know by now that House isn't going to stop doing something just because it's wildly unethical.

Mrs. Andres wakes up to see that Andres is mostly awake. He says "Me sinto quente," but neither Mrs. Andres nor Park speaks Portuguese. BEEP BEEP BEEP! Body temperature rising! Commercial break, during which I google ""Me sinto quente and learn that it means... "I feel hot." Well, there you go, then.

Foreman goes through the symptoms on the whiteboard and House heckles him. The fever could be illness-related, or it could have been cell necrosis from hypothermia. House still likes plasmapherisis. Foreman wants to add the language-loss to the list of symptoms and declares encephalitis. House accepts it (after complaining about Alzheimer's) and suggests interferon.

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