Big Baby

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | 1 USERS: B+
Special Education

Of course, Kumar is outraged that Cameron said yes to this and says House is risking Sara's life just to see how far he can push Cameron. House says he has to take drastic measures before their patient dies, but Kumar has a new diagnosis that he wants to test first: splenic lymphoma. House says they'll test for that when they're done with the dangerous and possibly unnecessary brain-exposing test that could kill her.

With that, Sara's skull is removed. While Cameron steps out of her administrator role to monitor the results, House shows Sara flash cards and she laughs at his Star Wars jokes. She must have brain damage. I wouldn't laugh if my brain was flapping in the breeze. The test officially begins. House shows Sara a picture of a red pen and says the pen is red and its ink is red. Is all ink red? That's a hard question, actually. Like, does he mean is all ink in red pens red? Because I think it is. I've never seen a red pen without red ink. I wouldn't do very well at this test, but apparently Sara is so far. Meanwhile, Kumar is tattling on his cell phone just outside the OR even though you aren't supposed to use cell phones in hospitals. Someone should tattle on him. House then asks Sara a math question, but before she can answer, there's a noise. Kumar holds the phone up to the mic in the OR balcony (which apparently doubles as a DJ booth during holiday parties), and Cuddy orders House to step away from the patient while her stupid baby cries in the background. House and Cuddy have a power struggle and poor Sara is very confused and starting to wonder if she's in the special ed section of the teaching hospital. Meanwhile, Cameron reports that her brain is still functioning normally. Cuddy hears her voice and is outraged, as well she should be. Then again, it was Cuddy's brilliant idea to put Cameron in charge, so she should really only be mad at herself. Cameron says she's familiar with the case, implying that Cuddy is not. Cuddy says she's familiar enough to know that this procedure isn't necessary, which Sara doesn't exactly enjoy hearing. House, meanwhile, has some parental advice for Cuddy. Put the phone down and pick up the crying baby so it stops crying already. Oh, and Sara's BP is dropping. Cuddy recommends dopamine, but Cameron condescendingly says she's already on it and Rachel needs Cuddy more than she does. Cuddy then admits that she doesn't know how to tend to Rachel's needs. What an embarrassment this is. Seriously, this has to be PPTH's lowest moment. Although that might be the time the janitor pretended to be a doctor. I think it's a tie. Sara, it turns out, hates the sound of crying babies. She says it's annoying and angrily asks if they can stop it. Cameron notes that Sara's nerve conduction is actually speeding up even though her BP is dropping. House says that doesn't make sense. Cameron says she's ending this test before Sara has a stroke. All I know is, if getting annoyed about crying babies is a symptom, then my dad comes down with this mystery disease every time he goes on an airplane.

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