Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | Grade It Now!

Outside Nicole's room, we see a line-up of her family members, as her brother and sisters (actually, Nicole just says "sister," but there's definitely two young women outside. Not sure what that's about) have left college to be with their sick sibling. Now they're all standing outside the room looking in the window, which is kind of creepy. Nicole asks Kumar to tell her parents she isn't dying and her siblings don't have to miss out on their educations. "You have SARS. I'm wearing a mask," Kumar says; "it's a big deal." I think more people die every year from the flu than SARS, though. Hell, I think more people die every year from bee stings than SARS. Kumar says they'll need the names and phone numbers of everyone she had contact with, both in the US and China. Have fun trying to talk to her biological parents, Kumar. They're a laugh and half. Nicole asks if the doctor she coughed on will be okay. Kumar says he's fine.

And in House's office, we see just how fine he is when he stands up from his desk only to drop his coffee mug and slump to the floor with his eyes open, all dead-like. This happens to House a lot, though, so I'm not too worried yet.

Back in Nicole's room, she's not doing much better. Her stomach pain has returned and her heart rate has gone into tachycardia. Kumar takes a look at her midsection and finds a weird rash that tells him Nicole's liver is failing. Which means it isn't SARS after all, because SARS is so wimpy that it wouldn't dare attack a liver. Just those fragile lungs with their silly air sacs, and it can't even do that well. Kumar immediately whips off his sterile mask like it burned him. Now that he doesn't need it, he can't get rid of it fast enough.

And House? He wakes up in a car which is driving through a green screen. He looks around, very confused, and sees Wilson in the driver's seat. Wilson shoots him a disgusted look and says "I am not doing this because I care." House seems to think differently, because he smiles triumphantly.

After the break, House realizes that Cuddy didn't shoot him up with Ig, but drugged him instead. While thinking he was exposed to SARS? Did she want to spread it to Wilson and the attendees at House's dad's funeral? Damn, Cuddy. That's cold. I'm just sad we didn't get to see the no-doubt-humorous scene of Cuddy running into House's office, finding him on the ground, and summoning Wilson in. Together, they rolled him up in a carpet and then carried the carpet with a suspicious House-shaped lump out the front door of PPTH, and no one was the wiser. Or maybe they just sat him in a wheelchair and wheeled him out and no one thought anything of it since House is usually in a state of unconsciousness for one reason or another anyway. Either way, I think we can chalk up one more failure to the crack PPTH security team, who managed not to notice an important member of the staff being kidnapped from his office, which is all windows and no walls.

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