House

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Nailed

Kumar enters Nicole's room to do the blood draw, but she's gone. Way to go, PPTH security team!

House tells Wilson to pull over so he can pee. At this, Wilson produces an empty plastic bottle. House tosses it in the backseat and childishly threatens to pee on the floor of Wilson's car. That's when he looks down to see that Wilson put used floormats in his car for just such an occasion. Way to memorize what Wilson's floormats look like, House. That's way too much investment. I have a photographic memory, and I'd be hard pressed to identify my own floormats in a lineup, let alone anyone else's. In any case, House throws the floormat out the window and starts unzipping his pants. Wilson says he'll pull over at the next rest stop. I don't know why he even tried, really. House zips back up. I think Wilson should have called House's bluff. And if it wasn't a bluff and House ended up peeing all over the floor of Wilson's car, then House would be the one sitting in the puddle.

They stop at the rest stop that looks suspiciously similar to the park in a previous episode. House demands his cane, but Wilson refuses, telling House to limp the short distance to the bathroom. His bad leg failing to get any pity from Wilson, he talks about how his dad refused to speak to him for an entire summer, communicating only through notes he slipped under House's bedroom door. I guess we see where House got his manchild tendencies from. Honestly, Father House. Notes slipped under a door? The silent treatment? Are you eight? Wilson can't help but give House advice on how to be a human, telling him he doesn't have to give the eulogy, but he should show up for his mother's sake. House just asks for his cane again, saying he'll agree to go to the funeral if he can have it. Wilson doesn't think hard enough about this and chooses to trust House, handing him his cane from the trunk of his car. House immediately smacks Wilson's hand with it, causing him to drop his car keys into a sewer grate. "I said I'd go to the funeral. I didn't say when," House says. I really don't know what else Wilson was expecting to happen.

Kumar finds Nicole smoking outside. He lectures her for leaving her room, but she doesn't care. Nicotine addiction beats hospital rules any day of the week. Kumar takes a seat next to her and decides to just do the blood draw there on the bench. A woman walks by and stares at them, which prompts Nicole to say that she's used to people staring at her, since they do whenever she's out with her white family. "Belonging's overrated," Kumar says, revealing that he was also adopted by a white family when he was nine years old. Sigh. Kumar has the most interesting backstory out of any of these people, and it's the one we know the least about. I want to know why he took his adoptive parents' last name instead of keeping his tragically-killed biological parents'. You'd think he'd want to honor their memory somehow. So many questions! Anyway, unlike Nicole, he liked being different. "The view's better from the outside looking in," he says. Perhaps, but I hear the grass is always greener from the inside looking out. Nicole says it's probably a lost easier to be different when you're successful, as if being a doctor is something that automatically happened to Kumar and he didn't work at it for years and years. Kumar doesn't answer, because there's a pool of CGI blood developing on the venipuncture site. And that's why the only people who stick needles in their arms on park benches are heroin addicts, and that's only if they can't find a good public bathroom.

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House

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