House
House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C+ | 1766 USERS: C+
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Weird Science

Oh look! It's Cuddy! Just because she got that one episode all to herself a few weeks ago, they think they can give her almost no camera time now. It's unacceptable. Even worse, she's only on this week to give Wilson furniture advice. Doesn't she have more important things to do with her work day than tell the head of oncology which table to buy? Awesomely, though, she feigns innocence and asks Wilson why he needs furniture for CTB's apartment, since it came with all of CTB's furniture that she wouldn't be needing anymore since she was dead. Wilson makes a quick "oh shit!" face before Cuddy puts him out of his misery, saying she knows he bought the apartment she wanted. "You're a jerk, let's move on," she says, giving him the name of her decorator. Wilson whines that he's supposed to be finding himself in his furniture purchases. "Backpack through Europe," Cuddy suggests, rolling her eyes. But don't do that if you're a woman on her own! Then it's dangerous. You might find yourself AND that serial killer Interpol has been looking for. Without even looking up, Cuddy laughs at Wilson for being more concerned with what the furniture he buys says about him than he is about what letting House tell him how to buy furniture says about him.

House watches the images from the Cognitive Pattern Ridiculousness machine, but they're still not telling him anything. Foreman walks in and says the MRI (OF DOOOM!!) didn't find a tumor and was apparently too exhausted from sending Abby into that black hole to do anything else to her, so she's still alive. They did find heightened levels of some enzyme that indicates an allergic reaction, but that doesn't help them since they already ruled allergies out. Foreman starts to suggest some parasite found in the Middle East, but House snaps at him, saying that's pretty much impossible since Abby's never been anywhere near the Middle East and all of their scans and tests for parasites have come back negative. House starts to make his Epiphany Face, but it turns out to be false, as he admits to Foreman "I got nothing."

House heads for the light box room for a Thinking Montage. He still comes up with nothing, so when Taub enters the room to ask if he can leave for the day, House asks him if he's having an affair, and then if it bothers Taub that House can ask him that directly but his wife apparently can't, probably because she's afraid of what Taub's answer will be. Taub claims he isn't having an affair. "But you want to," House says, apparently obsessed with being right about something this week. Taub says he doesn't and he's happy living a life of monogamy. House guesses it's because the women Taub would want to cheat on his wife with are now just too young and he's old enough to be their father. Yeah, because older men are always saying how they don't want to be with really young hot women. But this, of course, leads House to a genuine Epiphany Face. "The dad," he mutters. DUH, I knew something was going on with the boyfriend's dad the entire time. They'd never pay a guest star to appear on the show unless he had something to do with the plot. "He's the one in her visions," House says, still trying to justify that stupid Cognitive Pattern Recognition thing.

House

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