House
House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C+ | 1747 USERS: C+
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Weird Science

Hadley and Taub are doing the echo, which means it's Hadley's turn to talk to Taub about his marital difficulties. She doesn't understand why Taub would lie to House about fighting with his wife, thinking he can just tell House it's none of his business and that will be that. Right, because that's ever worked, Hadley. Come on. Once you get on House's snooping radar, he doesn't quit until he finds out everything he wants to know, gets bored with you, and moves onto someone else. "If only I could be as open about my emotional life as you are," Taub retorts. Hadley must know she's being annoying, as she then tries to make it up to Taub by giving him some unsolicited advice. She informs him that Mrs. Taub isn't angry with him because of the couples yoga class, but because she's worried that the reason why Taub isn't spending much time with her is because he's busy with someone else. Taub thinks his wife would ask him if she suspected he was cheating. "Because you would tell the truth?" Hadley says dubiously. Well, he would, actually. Eventually. Taub doesn't understand why this is has to be a problem since he isn't actually seeing anyone else. Duh, Taub. Hadley has to inform him that Mrs. Taub is allowed to be suspicious since her husband had an affair in the past. And then Hadley sticks a scope down Abby's throat and her aorta ruptures. Apparently this hurts quite a bit, as Abby begins to scream in pain. Taub and Hadley run Abby's stretcher to the OR and hope they can get her there before she dies. Unfortunately for England's King George II, this medical technology was not available to him when he suffered an aortic dissection from trying too hard to poop, which I learned while looking up aortic dissections on Wikipedia. And yet, that still isn't the most embarrassing or painful way an English monarch met his end, if the rumors about King Edward II are true.

Hadley and Taub are now cardiac surgeons, and they manage to cut Abby open, repair the tear, and get her heart started again. For some reason, Taub seems especially emotionally invested in Abby's survival. It's not like he'd get in trouble if she died. After all, he was the one who told them the echo was too dangerous to do on Abby, so if she dies now, he gets to say I told you so. Total win! At least Abby's open-heart surgery allowed them to get a good, long look at her mitral valve, where they found nothing wrong. Ha! Way to fool everyone, MRI (OF DOOOM!!). Foreman says the aortic dissection rules out their binge drinking hypertension theory, which House hastens to point out was Foreman's theory and no one else's. Foreman says that at least he had theories, unlike House. House shrugs and says he was too busy "judging Taub" to think of any. Good thing PPTH pays him to judge Taub and not to be a doctor. Taub says the dissection must have been because of a genetic abnormality, but Abby doesn't have any conditions that would cause one. Hadley speaks up to suggest that Abby could have had a massively severe allergic reaction that caused all of her symptoms, including the dissection. Chase says that's not possible since Abby has only gotten worse since arriving at PPTH, which is free from allergens. Hadley says Abby could have brought the allergen in with her if it's still inside her body.

House

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