House
Black Hole

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Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Weird Science

You know this week's House is going to be on the boring side when we begin in a planetarium show, where a teacher lectures to his class of high school seniors. At least two of them aren't paying attention, instead talking to each other about how the girl, Abby, is going off to Stanford for college and will be 3,000 miles away from the boy, her boyfriend Nick. Nick promises he'll visit every weekend using his dad's plentiful frequent flier miles (SUSPICIOUS) as someone passes him a thermos full of vodka. He drinks and passes it Abby, who can't take a sip without coughing and making enough noise to get the attention of their teacher. Abby plays it off well, saying she knows they're not allowed to have food or drinks in the planetarium but she brought in a thermos of water because of her nagging cough. Nick is impressed with her lying ability (SUSPICIOUS), and says so loudly enough to again get their teacher's attention, who asks him a question to see if he's been paying attention to the lecture thus far. Nick's answer shows us why Abby was accepted to Stanford and he was not. And that's when foamy pink stuff starts pouring out of Abby's mouth.

And because someone is really into space this week, the planetarium show transitions into the opening credits. And yet, the credits themselves remain unchanged, so we still get to see Jennifer Morrison's name and image even though she hasn't been on the show in years.

House pours some milk into his cereal, which is part of a complete breakfast, including toast and jelly and what appear to be orange peels, all of which are sitting, plate-less, on the couch. Wilson objects to this, although I don't know why since the couch is so ugly that jelly smears and toast crumbs can only make it look better, and House says this is part of his protest against Wilson not owning a table yet. Wilson asks House to buy a table, seeing as Wilson has already spent plenty of money on the apartment itself. House thinks for a second and comes up with a way to get out of paying for new furniture: by turning the simple act of buying furniture into a life lesson for Wilson, who House maintains has never furnished his own home before. Rather, he depended on his ex-wives or dead girlfriends to do the decorating. Wilson sees through House's plan to get out of spending money and time on furniture, but not enough to threaten to kick House out if he doesn't do it. "Buy some furniture or admit you're empty inside," House says.

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House

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