Black Hole

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
Weird Science

By the time House arrives at PPTH, the Cottages are already going over Abby's file, which says that pink foamy stuff was from a pulmonary edema, thus indicating a problem with either her heart or lungs. I note that the cameraman makes sure to move the camera from a birds-eye view of the Cottages down to eye-level as House walks in, probably so we won't see the top of his head and most likely some kind of hair restoration system going on up there. House immediately guesses that Cuddy assigned this case to them and that the patient is therefore a smart young lady. Hadley smugly tries to guess what context clues lead House to make this assumption, which ends with House calling her an idiot and saying he saw the picture of Abby on the ground and figured that she looked about 17 and smart. Can people really "look" smart? Denise Richards certainly couldn't when she played nuclear physicist Dr. Christmas Jones in The World Is Not Enough.

House then focuses his deductive reasoning skills on the absent Taub, who is running late due to a flat tire (apparently Taub is incapable of replacing it with a spare and had to call a tow truck instead) but who House believes is really having a fight with his wife. Foreman tries to change the subject back to Abby, saying the 0.05 alcohol level in her blood might indicate that she's a heavy drinker and perhaps that set off a hypertensive crisis that caused her heart to fail. Chase doesn't think the one or two drinks Abby had constitutes a "binge," which he should know what with his alcoholic dead mother and all. House points out that Abby was drinking before 10 am, which is a good sign that someone has an alcohol problem (or is a high school kid on a field trip), and Chase is sent off to do an MRI (OF DOOOM!!) on Abby's heart to confirm Foreman's theory.

Meanwhile, Taub is, in fact, having an argument with Mrs. Taub, who complains that they never do things together anymore. Taub denies this, but, when presented with the evidence, has to admit that Mrs. Taub has a point. So he agrees to attend some couples yoga class with her. But now that he's made it clear that he's only doing it to keep his wife off his back and doesn't actually want to go, she doesn't want him to go, either. Instead, she just shuts down and tells Taub to go to work and says she's fine when she clearly isn't. Taub gives up and leaves for PPTH. He ends up in the same elevator as Nick and his father, who apparently had nothing better to do today. Nick starts asking random people about his girlfriend without even knowing if they're medical professionals or just fellow visitors. Fortunately for Nick, one of the people he asks is Taub, who checks Abby's chart and answers all of Nick's questions about her condition and location, reading off that they think her drinking damaged her heart. So they don't actually know if the drinking damaged Abby's heart or if Abby's heart is even damaged in the first place, but Taub feels perfectly comfortable telling everyone who asks about it, even when those people aren't family members who are allowed access to that confidential information? Did the fight with his wife make him forget about HIPAA? Now Nick is busted in front of his dad, who asks Nick to explain just how he knows that Abby isn't much of a drinker. Taub tries to get away from Nick, who asks him to tell Abby that he loves her and brought her homework to the hospital, because who doesn't want to work on Pre-Calc problems after almost dying on a school field trip?

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