House
Black Hole

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Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Weird Science

Abby slides into the MRI (OF DOOOM!!) as Taub strolls into the booth and apologizes to Chase for being late. He then gets on the PA to pass Nick's message along to Abby, which was nice of him. Maybe now she won't sue him for violating her patient confidentiality rights. Taub tells Chase about his fight with Mrs. Taub and begins to ask Chase for advice, only for Chase to interrupt him and remind him that Chase is probably not the best person to seek marriage advice from, what with his ten-minute-long marriage and all. Chase then notices a spot on Abby's mitral valve. Mitral valves are getting a lot of play on House lately! It must be Mitral Valve Appreciation Month. For no good reason, we zoom in on the mitral valve spot on the monitor, which transitions into an image of some wormhole-looking space thing before we zoom back out into the heart image on the wall of the lightbox room, where House and the rest of the Cottages examine the film. Hadley guesses the spot is a fungus, but Foreman nixes that, saying the blood cultures showed no evidence of parasites or fungus. Oh, you mean those blood cultures that they never, ever do on this show because it takes too long to get results back from them? House finds a way to turn the conversation to Taub and his wife. Taub insists that he was late because of a flat tire, but House can tell from the expression on Chase's face that Taub is lying. As usual, Foreman turns the discussion back to the patient, and Hadley says they should do an echocardiogram to get more information on the mitral valve spot. Taub balks at this, since it could trigger a heart attack, but House can't think of anything better to do and orders it.

Hadley and Taub are doing the echo, which means it's Hadley's turn to talk to Taub about his marital difficulties. She doesn't understand why Taub would lie to House about fighting with his wife, thinking he can just tell House it's none of his business and that will be that. Right, because that's ever worked, Hadley. Come on. Once you get on House's snooping radar, he doesn't quit until he finds out everything he wants to know, gets bored with you, and moves onto someone else. "If only I could be as open about my emotional life as you are," Taub retorts. Hadley must know she's being annoying, as she then tries to make it up to Taub by giving him some unsolicited advice. She informs him that Mrs. Taub isn't angry with him because of the couples yoga class, but because she's worried that the reason why Taub isn't spending much time with her is because he's busy with someone else. Taub thinks his wife would ask him if she suspected he was cheating. "Because you would tell the truth?" Hadley says dubiously. Well, he would, actually. Eventually. Taub doesn't understand why this is has to be a problem since he isn't actually seeing anyone else. Duh, Taub. Hadley has to inform him that Mrs. Taub is allowed to be suspicious since her husband had an affair in the past. And then Hadley sticks a scope down Abby's throat and her aorta ruptures. Apparently this hurts quite a bit, as Abby begins to scream in pain. Taub and Hadley run Abby's stretcher to the OR and hope they can get her there before she dies. Unfortunately for England's King George II, this medical technology was not available to him when he suffered an aortic dissection from trying too hard to poop, which I learned while looking up aortic dissections on Wikipedia. And yet, that still isn't the most embarrassing or painful way an English monarch met his end, if the rumors about King Edward II are true.

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