House wakes up after a night with Cuddy in the best mood of his life. He gets to work to find a new case waiting for him -- a young man named Scott who had surgery on his brain for a seizure disorder that left him with two sides of his brain that are unable to communicate with each other and one hand with a mind of its own that enjoys screwing over its host body by throwing dinner rolls at large angry men and trying to sabotage his relationship with his girlfriend. He's also bleeding from his eye, has liver failure, and his heart is throwing clots all over the place. In the end, it's Scott's alien hand that figures out the diagnosis before anyone else, as it angrily tosses Scott's ultra-strength deodorant (applied several times daily because of his sweating problem) away and hits his girlfriend for bringing it to him in the first place. When the girlfriend points that out, the team figures out that an ingredient in the deodorant was what caused all of Scott's problems, including the seizure disorder that created his alien hand in the first place.
But that's not the meat of this episode, is it? No, it's House and Cuddy. Cuddy tells House that she doesn't want to get hurt by getting close to him and he spends the rest of the episode trying to make her angry at him for some reason. Wilson encourages this behavior, and when various prank attempts don't cut it, House announces from the balcony to the entire PPTH lobby that he slept with Cuddy. This gets Cuddy gets so angry that she fires him. When he goes to her office to talk, he suddenly realizes that her initial talk with him was because of what he said in the office last episode about suckling the baby that made her feel good about herself -- not because they slept together after she helped him detox off the Vicodin, because that never happened. What!?! Yes! He made everything after his suckling comment up in his mind while he hung out at home and took pill after pill and never detoxed at all, which explains why last week's detox session was so ridiculously brief. It also means that CTB is still around to whisper in House's ear, and Kumar even shows up to get his last digs in! While Chase and Cameron, who settled their differences in the C-plot, get married, Wilson drives House to a mental hospital straight out of the Victorian age and we can spend all summer wondering what will happen next.
A couple eats at a restaurant. The man complains loudly and often about the quality of the food while the woman tries to be positive and hopefully makes a mental note to ask her therapist why she keeps dating men like this. A few dinner rolls are thrown at the back of the man's head, and we go to another table with another couple. The woman grabs a basket full of dinner rolls away (they gave them a lot of dinner rolls for just two diners. Also, shouldn't they take the rolls away once the meal arrives? Maybe that first guy is right and this restaurant does suck after all) and says "do you think it'll calm down?" "God, I hope so," the man, Scott, says, not-too-quietly muttering that the dinner-rolled man is "a bit of a blowhard." Then he also complains about his food, saying it's bland. His girlfriend, Annie, begs to differ, giving him a sample of her dish, which she says is spicy. He says he doesn't taste anything, and then the blowhard arrives at the side of their table, wondering why they keep throwing dinner rolls at him. Scott denies it, and unwisely stands up to shake the guy's hand. His left hand grabs a glass of water and dumps it on the blowhard's crotch. This makes the blowhard very upset, but before he can beat the crap out of him, Scott starts bleeding out of his eye and collapses.
And now we're in House's bedroom. He wakes up to find himself naked and alone ... and happy. Yes, that is indeed a genuine happy little smile on his face. He limps into the bathroom and sees lipstick smeared on his face, a tube of which was left behind on the bathroom sink. He picks it up and there are more smiles. Who is this guy?
We go to PPTH, where Taub is talking to Cameron in the ER about Scott. Taub doesn't think House will want the case and asks about what he should wear to the wedding. Cameron says there's been "a glitch" with the wedding and that House will definitely want to take Scott's case because Scott had surgery on his brain for a seizure disorder. The corpus callosum, which connects the two halves of the brain, was cut, leaving Scott seizure-free but with complications. Taub just keeps asking about Cameron's wedding. Why was he even invited to it, anyway? Aren't they just occasionally friendly co-workers? They approach Scott before Cameron can find another excuse not to answer Taub's questions, and he explains that his left hand has a mind of its own, and that mind is kind of an asshole. When he goes grocery shopping, it sneaks food that Scott hates in his cart and, as we saw, sets him up to get his ass beat down by throwing things at blowhard restaurant patrons. Taub says House will like this case after all.