House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A- | 2 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Raise Your Alien Hand If You're Sure

House is not off to Scott's room to convince him to stay, as he's cleverly figured out that he has to leave the interaction and personal stuff to someone much better equipped to handle it -- Wilson. House seems to think he'll be able to get Scott's brain hemispheres talking again.

After the break, Scott is in the MRI of DOOOM!! getting his pancreas scanned while Wilson tries to play brain psychiatrist. He asks Scott what he thinks his right brain wants. Scott has no idea, saying it does things Scott would never do. Wilson guesses that the right brain is frustrated because it can't communicate with Scott and Scott won't communicate with it. He suggests that Scott announce that he's going to the grocery store so that his right brain won't be all surprised by the trip and get revenge by putting gross food in Scott's cart. At this point, Scott starts to suspect that Wilson isn't a therapist and House grabs the mic to tell Scott that his right brain seems to like what Wilson is saying, since it's stayed still this entire time. It's all a waste in the end, though, as Taub reports that Scott's pancreas is tumor-free.

In the meeting room, House doesn't want to let go of the pancreatic cancer diagnosis, saying that the tumor might be there, but too small right now to see. Then he gets a phone call and actually answers it, only to hear Eugene's voice saying he just squawked again and is calling House's phone to let him know, as per Cuddy's instructions. "I'm about to lose you because I'm about to drive through a tunnel in a canyon on an airplane while hanging up the phone," House says. Hee. I hope Cuddy's not sitting in her office thinking she got one over on House, though. Old man poop delivery > phone call. Taub suggests they look at lymphoma, but House wants to focus on pancreatic cancer although he can't put his finger on why. Taub jokes that he's having right brain/left brain issues, and only Foreman thinks this is funny. With that, House suggests that they open Scott up and expose his pancreas and give it a coat of some new experimental paint made out of scorpion toxins and infrared. It'll cause the cancer cells to light up and make them much easier to see, but it's ridiculous since the pancreas is fragile and shouldn't be messed with, let alone bathed in freaking scorpion toxins. Come on! Foreman and Hadley point out that this is ridiculously dangerous, especially for someone in Scott's condition, while Taub chooses to look on the bright side. If the pancreas manipulation causes a clot to be thrown into the narrowed blood vessels of Scott's brain, the resulting brain damage might conveniently kill off one hemisphere and leave Scott with one mind again. Way to find a silver lining in the cloud of brain damage, Taub.

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House

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